


Il bugiardo e il biliardaro

by sneakingfox, tincanicarus



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Escort Service, High Class Prostitute Tony Stark is real and dangerous, Human Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Tony does not know his father, everybody loves Pepper, the Starks are actually the Carbonells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakingfox/pseuds/sneakingfox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tincanicarus/pseuds/tincanicarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jarvis Thompson needs a date, and Tony Carbonell is really good at what he does.</p><p>That is, until feelings get mixed up into it.</p><p>(Title translation: "The Liar and the Billionaire".)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Il bugiardo e il biliardaro

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this beautiful tumblr post: http://brockrumlow.tumblr.com/post/114512386967
> 
> There are some recurring snippets of Italian (both Tony and Jarvis can speak it... show-offs) but even if you don't understand a single word, I promise it does not make you miss out on the story! (And when you're too curious, well, there's always google translate.)
> 
> IN THIS UNIVERSE:  
> Tony Stark aka Tony Carbonell is the son of Maria Carbonell (she was never married to Howard Stark). Who his father is, she's never told Tony. It's doubtful Howard is even aware of Tony's existence.

Tony wanted to go to MIT.

 

This is something he has decided as a thirteen-year-old, when his science teacher invited Maria to talk about her son’s potential. He remembers how proud she was - his mamma, like so many people, never really understood how numbers were such an intricate part of Anthony’s life, how he could turn around and break everything he saw down into formulas. But she was glowing, fierce with pride, and promised her son the world when she hugged him outside the classroom.

 

“Tua madre è fiera de te,” she whispered into his hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and Tony was burning with embarrassment.

 

But two years later, his graduation certificate from high school in his hands, he looked at their tiny apartment and Maria, his beloved mother, showing off a new pair of overpriced shoes, and he knew that it wouldn’t be enough.

 

It would never be enough. Looking at it realistically, he probably would never manage to graduate - but Tony was fifteen and he wanted this _so much_. Maria herself was never very good at appreciating their financial situation, and Tony let himself be pushed towards college by her with little to no resistance.

 

All Maria wanted was the best for her son.

 

All Tony wanted was to _learn_.

 

And for a while, it looked like they would get what they wanted.

 

That is, until Tony had to realize that he had a choice of using his student loans to either pay for his stay at the Polytechnic Institute of New York University -  or the rent for their apartment. Tony left university, keeping as many details about the hows and whys from Maria, and started jobbing instead.

 

He was indebted, and so was Maria, and it was never _enough_.

 

“Hey, how old are you?”

 

“Twenty-One,” Tony lies casually through his teeth without looking up, then raises his head at the guy that asked, studying the other, then deciding that one - with his _I’m rich and better than you_ fumes - is probably not gonna get him in trouble for having a beer.

 

“Really?” Hm, but apparently he’s not gonna be left in peace, either. “You know, you have a nice face.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes obviously enough the other is gonna see it, putting his beer down. “Thanks, I’m not interested, goodbye.”

 

When the other, instead of backing the hell up, leans down to Tony, the young man feels the hairs on his neck raising. He’s just about to tell him off - when a hundred-dollar note is shoved in his view.

 

“Are you not _interested_ in this, either?”

 

A pause, then Tony turns slowly to face the other, putting on a smile. “Oh, I don’t know…”

 

Which is how, at barely eighteen, Tony gets his first escort job. Of course Richard mainly took him along to piss off his even richer father, but - and as a surprise to all - in a new suit and with a charming smile on his lips, the _nobody_ that was Tony Carbonell ended up being _really_ good at schmoozing the rich crowd.

 

Tony learned quickly that his first customer, like many that followed, was completely inept at flirting in any other way than throwing his money around - and he encouraged it, because _hell_ , he needed the money, and this was work well paid.

 

(He got home late, and sometimes Maria cooed over another suit he was wearing, oh, she liked the luxury, “come sei bello!” she said, and didn’t ask questions, especially when Tony brought the money home she needed for her expensive habits, acting as if the old Italian money - money she had in so long ago it might’ve been another life - was still there.)

 

A couple months after his eighteenth birthday, he sold his virginity to a woman at a price that seemed unimaginable to him. She was probably too old for him, but she smiled at him like she _wanted_ him, and Tony didn’t hate her hands on him.

 

It was enough.

 

Rich people were all desperate, it seemed, for an open smile, some innocent touches, a young man that didn’t bat an eye at their eccentricities or their money _(act like it is nothing to you,_ was something that Tony could do very well), someone that was able to make them feel desirable, someone that was easy to show off, and someone who, in times of need, whispered sweet Italian nothings in their ears.

 

Tony always had been too smart for his own good, and he learned to use that on people. “Let me know if I’m being too handsy,” he’d apologize to his dates who clearly loved the small touches, “it’s my Italian heritage, you see…”

 

If he wasn’t manipulating people into loving him for a couple hours, Tony was studying hierarchies. He started denying open offers because he had too many, apologetically smiling while leaning in to share that _I’m sorry, this isn’t enough,_ privately enjoying the sting he knew he inflicted on them by telling them _you can’t afford me,_ and the young man learned soon about the relationships between the members of high society, using tensions to his advantage, or dispelling them if it was to his advantage, as well.

 

He was charming, he was helpful, he could save your ass with style if you had to make small talk with your most disliked business competitors.

 

Life has become a weird normal for Tony, and sometimes, watching his mother coming home with another _Dolce & Gabbana_ handbag, he ached while he smiled at her. It was money he made while professionally lying that allowed his mother to smile back at him like this, because sometimes it seemed the only time Maria Carbonell was happy was when she could buy something new and shiny, that would impress her friends ( _harpies_ , Tony privately thought, he knew the type) which she met in a stylish café every Thursday over an overpriced double espresso.

 

The only thing that would help if he got in a low like this would be to either take his mother out for lunch in a place that was as pretentious as he was and which he knew she’d love, or lock himself up in his room and take his _Potts_ Phone apart to put it together again, improved every time.

 

In another life, he might’ve developed that phone himself, and sometimes Tony daydreams about working for Pepper Potts - so when he gets approached by _Miss Potts herself_ it is the first time in a long, long while that he is honestly excited about a customer.

 

That woman he doesn’t only compliment on her style, her perfect manicure or the lovely waist, but also on business, on her management abilities. He holds himself back as much as he can, though, wanting her to enjoy his company - though he discovers that Pepper Potts more than doesn’t mind talking about business, she _likes_ it.

 

“It seems I have a new competitor in the field,” she confesses, on one particularly dull gala (in Tony’s option), and waves his _I can’t see anyone being honest competition to you_ argument away. “Stop buttering me up, Tony!” But she’s laughing even as she shakes her head at him.

 

“No, this one is serious competition - or he might be, in the near future. Young Englishman, hasn’t made a name for himself yet, but is building up his business. He kind of reminds me of myself, so remember the name, Tony - Jarvis Thompson.”

 

For a moment, Tony feels jealousy rushing through him at that faceless _Jarvis Thompson_ , because it is obvious Pepper is impressed with him, and Tony could have that, maybe, in another life - but it is of no use to go down that road, and so the young man smiles and nods.

 

Pepper had been his favourite customer for a while, and Tony privately thought it was a pity she was among those who, while paying well, drew the line at the bedroom. Really, sex with her would probably be fantastic - but the way it was, it felt a little as if they were _friends_ , and even if Tony wouldn’t admit it, he needed that.

 

(A pity that professional lying ends with you lying to yourself. How could you be friends with someone that pays you to be around?)

 

Which is why it stings all the more when Pepper befriends this Jarvis, talking about a merging of their businesses, and Tony fights to keep his expression from betraying him, _this Jarvis is getting everything I ever wanted_ , it isn’t easy, sometimes, to be so close and yet so far from what he really wanted, from what he decided he wanted when he was thirteen years old.

 

Tony gets pulled out of his self-pity-party by Pepper, the mean schemer, who turns to smile at him. “Would you accompany him, Tony?”

 

The young man raises his eyebrows. “If he can afford me. Balliamo, cara?”

 

“Alright,” Pepper agrees, and takes the offered hand, “one song.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Good morning, Jarvis," Pepper greets, walking into the other's office with purpose and a smile. Jarvis looks haggard, tired, but he still answers her smile in turn. He always considers Pepper a delight, and today is no different - she was always a gracious friend. And if she chooses not to remark on his looks he knows he can only adore her all the more for it.

 

Pepper settles into the chair opposite from Jarvis desk, regarding Jarvis evenly, quietly wondering what put such dark circles into her friend’s face. "How's business?"

 

It has become their customary greeting phrase, what with the business merge close before them, it is only natural that the primary thing they talk about is exactly that - business.

 

"The usual, as you know," Jarvis smirks. "Though something tells me you're not here to talk numbers."

 

Pepper smiles at that. "Elementary, my dear Watson," she jokes, and wastes no time to get to the point: "I have a suggestion to you, on the subject matter of those crowds you tend to dislike," she adds, opening her bag and rummaging around for a small card, putting it on the desk. All it said was _Tony_ in large, swooping letters.

 

"What do you think about taking an escort?"

 

Whatever Jarvis has expected her to say, it was not that. "You're suggesting I pay someone to tolerate my company for an evening?" Though he is not as incredulous as he thinks he should probably sound. Then again-- "That's not a terrible idea."

 

Oh dear, could he be any more pathetic? He was truly becoming one of _them_. "If I had known friendship with you would involve so many parties I would have rethought that merger of ours."

 

Pepper raises her eyebrows at what she privately thinks is Jarvis _whingeing_ , amused despite herself. "Now, don't be like that. I've taken an escort myself many times, notably this one," and she points towards the card.

 

"He doesn't much like handing out his number, so only the regulars even get the card. It's the most convenient solution at times, what with how Harold prefers not having to be dragged along to an event where he will be in the spotlight as well, and Tony knows how to play the crowd. Besides," and she taps her chin with a finger, lips lifting in a small smile, "you might even have fun."

 

The card looks so innocuous; it surely doesn't deserve the wary look Jarvis directs its way. But he comforts himself with the knowledge that it wouldn't actually bite him. Still, though... if this person could keep the jackals at bay and throw off business associates as well, he would be worth every penny.

 

Just the thought of being able to have one evening with that sort of buffer and the card was in his hand before he even thought to move it himself.

 

"Fun, what even does that mean anymore?" But it was still worth a call. Right?

 

"Maybe I'm imagining it, but is it possible you talk a little more like fresh out of a Greek tragedy today?" Pepper tilts her head at the other man, frowning briefly. "Are you okay, Jarvis?"

 

Her concern is enough to bring out a genuine smile, albeit a small one. "Let's hope it doesn't get to that stage."

 

 _Is he okay_? Well, in his opinion at least, he is. After all, this was nothing more than he experienced on a regular basis; and if the insomnia seemed to be becoming just a little worse, all that meant was he had more time to work on projects. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to lie. "Just the usual. There's been more work to do since the announcement of the merger. Who would have thought there'd be so many people lining up to yell at me."

 

But he almost couldn't wait, with this merger he could finally return to what he loved and leave the bulk of business minutae to Pepper's capable hands.

 

"Hm, it's probably a bit hypocritical coming from me, but try not to overwork yourself too badly all the same."

 

Then Pepper smiles again. "And you should call Tony soon, the big gala is tomorrow after all. I admit I'm curious to see how you two will get along."

 

"Are you certain he'd be available on such short notice? Surely someone else must have employed his services." One of his regulars perhaps. If Pepper hired him he could only imagine who might also be counted among this man's clientele.

 

"You're a business man, Jarvis, and as unlikely as it might sound to you, so is he. Besides, he is picky with his customers, and he'll know that I gave you his number, which should give you some bonus points."

 

Maybe Pepper had hinted vaguely at Tony so he'd be keeping that evening free, but that's neither here nor there.

 

She rolls her shoulders in a casual shrug. "In short, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

 

"Well, you haven't led me astray yet." For all they had technically been rivals. And though Jarvis had never been gullible in the cut throat game that was called business, Pepper had been more honest with him than most.

 

His fingers were already inching towards the phone, though he took the time to direct an arched brow in her direction. "Are you going to loom over me until I finish the call?" He was teasing, but a part of him was afraid she would do just that.

 

Pepper laughs, shaking her head and standing smoothly. "I'd say you're a big boy and don't need my supervision, so that's a no. But," and she pauses, closing her bag before searching Jarvis' gaze, "if you find it in you to give yourself a break sometime, we should have coffee. In case you agree with me that it's high time you relax a little. I might just drag you along to a massage, now that I think of it."

 

She smirks at him, aware that Jarvis would with high likelihood not be comfortable with that, and then turns to walk out of the room, her heels clicking on the floor.

 

Jarvis doesn’t bother arguing, simply watching her go with a fond smile. True friends were few and far between in this business, he was glad he had one as dedicated as her.

 

The levity quickly gave way to the churning anxiety that had become a constant companion. To think he'd once thought it fun to play this social game with investors and associates. Now there was so much more at stake.

 

A little fun. That thought firmly on mind he picks up the phone, pressing in the numbers with quick fingers before he can lose his nerve.

 

The ringing is answered with a groan, Tony attempting to burrow himself deeper into his mattress in denial of _'maybe it'll stop if I pretend long enough'_ \- but then his mind snaps to awareness, because that's the _business phone_ , and he groggily lifts his arm to grab it off of the nightstand.

 

"Hi, this better be urgent," he mumbles into the speaker, biting back a yawn with some effort.

 

If Jarvis wasn’t vaguely afraid of what Pepper would do, that alone would have him hanging up the phone - this is not what he was expecting. It only takes a split second for him to decide that facing this unknown is better than braving the Gala on his own tomorrow.

 

"If it weren't I would have sent an application by mail," and dammit. He thought he had broken himself of that habit. "Ah, apologies Tony," how uncomfortable, addressing a stranger so familiarly. "My name is Jarvis Thompson. Virginia Potts referred you to me. I realise it's very short notice, but I was hoping that I could employ your services for an event tomorrow night."

 

"Oh," that wasn’t a good way to greet a new customer _at all_ \- Tony blinks, cursing for not having checked the number, and shifting to sit up on his bed, making his tone more welcoming on autopilot. "Hello there, Jarvis, I've heard a lot about you - and you're forgiven, seeing as you've no idea of the hours I keep."

 

Tony almost laughs, silently complaining at the ceiling for Pepper's scheme. "I should've known Pepper was up to something. Tomorrow night I'm free, you lucky man."

 

No matter what Tony's personal feelings on the matter, he would always manage to flirt with potential clients. It came as easily as breathing.

 

"You're aware I'm charging a fortune, I assume, so I'm just gonna skip ahead and say sure, I'll be your eye-candy. Anything particular you want me to wear?"

 

"I shall assume what you’ve heard was overly flattering considering you've agreed to this on such short notice." Had Pepper been one of the ones to talk about him? Jarvis wouldn't put it past her. Though that did make him more nervous.

 

"Well… clothes that won't get you arrested? The Gala is formal wear, but from what Potts has told me you are well versed in these things. If you need a tuxedo, however, I can easily have one provided." His tailor would kill him.

 

Jarvis left it unsaid between them that all the expense would be negligible for the billionaire.

 

Tony grins widely at that. "Oh, don't worry, I'll turn up appropriately dressed, but sometimes there are special wishes - matching colors or brands, for example. And you don't need to get me a suit for the first date."

 

 _You can buy me one later_ is clearly implied.

 

"Do you wish to arrive together or should I already be there? The latter is combined with some risk, I'm notorious for being five minutes late to everything, but I'm fine with whatever you feel more comfortable with."

 

Jarvis doesn’t even need to consider his options - give any of the hyenas even half a chance to jump him? No. "I would prefer we arrive together. Pick up can be easily arranged." _Bloody nitwit, he's done this all before. Sodding hell, knowing my luck he's better at this than me_.

 

"I've a reputation for punctuality. It comes with the accent, I'm afraid."

 

"Of course," Tony agrees easily, raising his eyebrow at the punctuality remark. Well then. Sounds like he’ll have to make an effort for being on time. "What time would you like to arrive? I'll meet you not far away from the gala, so you can pick me up easily at the last minute. That sound good to you?"

 

Jarvis finds that he can't help the tiny smile that twitches at his lips. "Pending traffic. I'll hazard 8 o' clock." The earlier he arrived the earlier he could escape.

 

"I see, I'll spend the night attempting to make you slow down," Tony replies, already falling into a light teasing.

 

_Englishman. Super punctual. Perpetually in a hurry._

 

The first impression - over the phone - would need some working on on Jarvis' side.

 

"I'll call you a couple minutes before 8. If you have any questions or remember between now and tomorrow evening that you forgot to tell me you're allergic to hair gel or something, call me - preferably not in the AM hours, but otherwise I'm pretty flexible."

 

When the call is finished Jarvis sets the receiver down in its cradle with care. A part of him can't believe he just agreed to pay an escort to accompany him tomorrow night. But then again, he thinks to himself sardonically, how is this any different than usual? At least this Tony is being honest about the price attached his company.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He's certain he must be driving his chauffeur bonkers. But Jarvis had never been able to get rid of the part of him that refused to be anything but scrupulously organised.

 

Which is how he finds himself parked on a side street staring at the sleek phone held in his hands as he waits for a call - and despite expecting it, when the ringing starts he almost jumps.

 

"Good evening, Jarvis," Tony greets through the phone, "am I running late already?"

 

"Only if you were hoping to catch the sunset," Jarvis replies in his blandest tone. "Though if you were hoping to make a grand and controversial entrance I would suggest giving it another half hour to give the nags more time to scheme."

 

He doesn't know why, but the instant he had heard the voice on other side of the line something had... eased. He wouldn't be doing this alone again. "Where do I pick you up?"

 

"So snarky," Tony mutters, unable to help his eyebrows from rising at _'grand and controversial entrance'_. "I see my reputation precedes me again, hm? I'm only a block from the party, where are you?"

 

"Only a block, that's certainly helpful," he hopes his eye roll is clear. He doesn't bother to state that he, in fact, knows very little about the man he's paying to accompany him beyond what Pepper has told him already. If he were honest, he had been a little afraid of digging up too much information.

 

"I'm a bit further than that," he answers, looking out the window at the small café he was parked before. "I might need a bit more information if we're to meet. I prefer to not play stalker and tap into GPS."

 

Tony huffs a small chuckle, holding the phone away from him as he does. Well, this is certainly starting out well, isn't it?

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes, figuratively speaking. I was just thinking if you were closer I could walk up to you, because there's no scenario where a strange car driving up to you doesn't feel weird, let's be honest, but I suppose-- corner of the 86th street. Look out for the guy in a suit."

 

"It does sound suspicious, doesn't it? Nor do we want some good Samaritan to call my car into the police for suspicious activity." Jarvis finds his lips quirking up again, but a worry has started to form. Perhaps meeting face to face rather than as a voice over the phone would help to dispel it. "You're not terribly far from where I am, if you know Martha's café two blocks over. We're across from there. If it will make it feel less strange to meet inside a coffee shop in tuxedos, of course."

 

"Sounds perfect," Tony replies easily, grinning a bit, and after briefly cocking his head at the street, makes his mind up about where he remembers said café being, "and they do say you're never really over-dressed. I'd say that goes definitely for having coffee. Be there in two."

 

"I'll be sure to count the seconds," Jarvis returns before disconnecting. He sits for a long moment in silence. _Honestly, what am I doing?_ There really was no use having second thoughts, it wouldn't be fair to Tony, all things considered. And Jarvis rarely backed down from a business arrangement.

 

"It looks like we'll be staying here a bit longer, Sam, did you want me to pick you up anything in there?" The woman looks up into the rearview mirror and shakes her head. "No, I'm set boss," she grins. "You know me, always prepared."

 

Jarvis shares her grin and opens his door, striding casually across the street and into the building. He may not indulge in coffee, but surely they'd have something he could pick up. And it wouldn't hurt to buy Sam a muffin while he was at it. She might demure the offer, but they knew each other well enough that he knew she'd appreciate it.

 

The first thing that Tony's eyes naturally lock on when he reaches the street is the car standing opposite of the café - a Mercedes, he deduces quickly, and resists the urge to walk over to inspect it.

 

And then there it is, and he's standing just a bit away from the café, attempting to comb through his hair to make it bend to his will (useless effort, but then that has always been part of his charm), and straightens his jacket and tie. He's wearing a simple suit and slim tie, all of it, despite the simplicity, reeking of expensive.

 

In short: Tony knows he looks _edible_.

 

He walks into the café with an air of confidence, smiling at the barista, and spots the other lone man in a tuxedo almost immediately (long-trained reflexes?), walking towards him and offering his hand. "Hello, Jarvis."

 

It's hard to miss the man. The instant he walks through those doors Jarvis knows who it must be. Everything about him shouts high society, and Jarvis has to take a moment to appreciate the picture that makes. But worse, he thinks, is how unfair it is that this man has to look so _good_. Utterly approachable but untouchable.

 

This was going to be a long evening and he and Pepper were going to have _words_.

 

His inner turmoil never shows on his face as he offers the man, Tony, a smile. "Tony, I can only presume." Again, how awkward it felt to address a stranger so familiarly. Too many business meetings with bigwigs and inflated egos he suspected. "A pleasure," he continues, taking the other man's hand briefly.

 

"Correct, and the pleasure is all mine," there's humor in Tony's tone, and he sits down opposite from the other, "you look a lot less grumpy than you sound, for starters."

 

That has a brow winging up. "Grumpy, hmm? That doesn't bode well for the rest of the evening." First impressions, he sighs, to himself. He smiles instead, giving no voice to his inner thoughts. "Since tonight is my treat, is there anything you'd like while we're here? I can assure the food at the Gala won't be nearly as good."

 

"Oh, I'm teasing you," Tony admits, trying to keep his smirk in check, "I might do that a lot, especially to break the ice--"

 

The offer is a little surprising, but only a little - Tony expected to get offered coffee, admittedly, but nothing more - and he draws his brows together in thought. "A blueberry muffin if they have those, and a strong coffee, please." And then there's a smile. "Thank you."

 

 _Right, Jarvis, try to have fun_. He takes the time while waiting for his order to bring his thoughts back under control. By the time he returns with the coffee and muffin he feels much more composed. Professional. Or as professional as the situation merits. They're going to be in each other's company the whole night, he was socially aware enough to know he couldn't treat this like a business arrangement.

 

"A real gentleman," Tony says, managing to make it sound like a compliment even while smirking, and accepts both muffin and coffee thankfully, taking a bite before opening his mouth again to speak, gaze firmly fixed on Jarvis.

 

"So, tell me why you called me, apart from the obvious 'Pepper gave me your number' spiel."

 

"Why do the rest of your clients call you? To impress others, I suspect. Maybe they need a date and all of the supermodels aren't available. Though I'll admit, you really do put all of them to shame.”

 

Tony's lips kick up at that. Hm, Jarvis is getting cuter by the second, especially if he keeps up the compliments. "Exactly, and yet you decided to call me without knowing what I look like, or how much fun I am certified to be as a date."

 

He winks, then leans back, keeping his eyes on Jarvis, expression curious, through the other's explanation.

 

Something tells Jarvis Tony was more perceptive than he was letting on. If he wants this to work he'll have to be more honest than he was used to. "Very well, unless they're my employee, plus ones expect a lot more than I'm willing to give. To be blunt, you're a lot more affordable than one of those supermodels.

 

"Unfortunately going alone is hardly a solution." His smile goes tight. "More like exhausting, really."

 

"I see. I'm your human shield, then - which is fine, by the way, but it's always good to know what's expected of you, which is why I asked."

 

Rather a vital part of Tony's role as an escort is doing exactly what is wanted of him without the other needing to ask.

 

"In so many words, yes," and with that Tony managed to dispel the last of his nerves. "When you've had the matriarch of the Cummingham empire grope you one too many times you'd be willing to pay a nice profit for some protection too."

 

Tony pulls his lips up into a small grin. "Better to have one assigned groper that'll keep the less handsome ones away, right?"

 

"Precisely."

 

"Hm, that won't be a problem tonight, then. And I'll attempt to keep my own hands to myself to minimize groping." Tony is watching Jarvis from under his eyelashes, wanting to see the other's reaction, already testing out the waters.

Tension Jarvis had been carrying in his shoulders as each hour ticked down to the event eased, and this time the smile is more genuine. "And this is why Pepper recommended you."

"No," Tony objects, and there's a promise in his smile, "you haven't yet seen why Pepper recommended me. But you can revisit that statement after the party - I'll be that gracious."

"Well, I won't be able to find out until we get there," Jarvis smiles and nods at the cup in front of the other. "If you're finished we can go interrupt my driver's game of Sudoku."

"After you," Tony replies, and naturally when they walk out Tony's hand is on small of Jarvis' back, almost guiding him outside.

A good opportunity to get Jarvis used to how they're going to enter the event.

It's not often that anyone touches Jarvis so familiarly, so intimately. And he's certain that by the way he very nearly flinches at that light contact to the small of his back that it's clearly evident to his escort. Tony, feeling the reaction, half expects to get told off for touching Jarvis in the first place, somewhat relieved when the reprimand doesn’t come.

Jarvis’ driver is used to him enough to know not to get out of the car just to open his door. Instead the billionaire holds open the door for the other man, waiting patiently as he climbs in back before following.

"Here you go, Sam," he passes a small paper bag up to her. "Chocolate caramel, to make up for interrupting your attempt to conquer more towns on that little app there." Her laughter greets them, and Tony leans forward to introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Tony," he greets, reaching out to shake Sam’s hand and give her a smile before sitting back into his seat as the car pulls smoothly out into traffic.

"Still not late enough for your dramatic entrance, I'm afraid."

That has Tony raising a single unimpressed eyebrow at Jarvis. "One comment about my tendency to be late to things and you already make it sound as if I was the King of Dramatic Lateness. Really, Jarvis?"

"Fair game considering how you teased me about punctuality. Or was it about me being grumpy, ah so many options." He likes this, Jarvis realizes with a start. He likes this light bantering, and is astonished to find that Tony had somehow managed to charm him.

_Have fun,_ she'd said. And he suspected that he would. "I have a sneaking suspicion that if this invitation had been directed to you specifically, you'd do something that would have the tabloids raving for weeks. Which, if I'm honest, would be very likely hilarious. You might make them worth reading."

"In your shoes, Jarvis, I'd want to stay on my good side," Tony snarks back, smiling through the vague threat, "I'm gonna be around all evening, and I can hold impressive grudges. Don't move yet."

That was clearly an order Tony just issued, and just as the car stops in front of the grand hotel the gala is taking place in. He steps out of the door, walking around the car and opening the one on Jarvis’ side, offering a hand to the billionaire.

"Ready to make some heads turn?"

"Not really, but that's what these events are for," Jarvis accepts the hand, feeling oddly pampered.

Tony doesn't reply to that other than raising his eyebrows, then pulls Jarvis out of the car as if _he_ wanted to show the billionaire off to the world (or rather the cameras flashing around them), his hand again finding its place at the small of Jarvis' back, and he leans in to murmur lowly to the other.

"If you don't want to talk to someone or can't think of anything inoffensive to say, smile and nod, I'll do the rest." The smile Jarvis gets is all but brilliant.

"I'll show you why I'm so expensive."

The thing about having to forge your own way up through the ceiling that was wealth and money was that you couldn't get there without charm. True, most of his new peers were woefully inept at flattery, and often lacked that vital piece of charisma that made everyone want to bask in your presence, rather than just your wealth. But when you came from the sort of bland background that Jarvis Thompson did, you learned very quickly how to fake it or lose everything.

When he first started to get these sort of invites he had been excited. It was fun to play this game, lead everyone along. But that was before he had built up his business to where there were towns and entire families who relied on him being able to successfully navigate through these games. And that is what had started to wear on him.

So it wasn't so much that he needed Tony's skills out on this dancefloor, but they brought a much needed reprieve. For the first time in weeks it didn't feel like one wrong word would end in the sort of repercussions that sent businesses panicking.

And really, it was easy to see why this Tony was charging so much for his company alone.

Because Tony was in his element now, wanting to prove himself - navigating Jarvis easily through the room, drawing him away from the more obtrusive guests, managing to rebuff them while making them feel flattered -

"Lady Soren, if I keep seeing such a beautiful woman flirt with my date, I'm not sure I can control my jealousy," has always been one of his favorites along with "what a gross oversight on my part, Jarvis, I haven't asked you for a dance yet, let me rectify that immediately."

And so he ends up pulling Jarvis out of a particularly vexing conversation and onto the dancefloor. "Should've asked you first, of course, but in the circumstances, you don't have a choice," he laughs at the billionaire, and takes the lead, "one song at least."

Honestly Jarvis can only marvel at the skill with which this man manages to rebuff some of the most delicate tempers while flattering them just enough to extinguish their tantrums. So it was that he doesn't resist when Tony pulls him out onto the dance floor.

"This tactic could seriously backfire on you one day," he says casually. "Your toes must go through a great deal of abuse."

"I'd add it to the tab," Tony replies, lips quirking again into a smile, "to my luck, most people that frequent my services had some sort of ballroom dance lessons at one point in their lives, though it's true that doesn't necessarily imply they can dance, but I do what I can."

The escort navigates them both so there's no accidental crash between dancing couples, raising his eyebrows at Jarvis. "What's your verdict so far?"

Jarvis appears to consider that question. "Your technique could use some polishing," he says eventually, straight faced as he deftly maneuvers them around another couple. He's always been a quick learner and dancing was just another tool.

"But considering how much I know Pepper loves dancing you would have to be at least passable to merit her attention."

"Oh, harsh, I am wounded, Jarvis," Tony flutters his eyelashes, his expression one of mock-hurt, "faccio del mio meglio..."

But really, Tony's toes are in no danger from Jarvis, and he smirks a bit mischievously at the other when it's Jarvis that initiates a twirl. "Not bad," he says, his voice going low and flirty, "you know what they say about men that can dance, yes?"

"I'd rather not." Who would have thought a dance like this could be so enjoyable. This was the most fun he'd had at a Gala for a long time.

That Tony had proven to possess a quick wit and clever tongue only made it more so.

"È italiano dovrebbe impressionare me? I can't say I've ever found the language to be terribly romantic. But that may be because their businessmen are terribly rude."

"Come, scusi? Fai il bravo, mi raccomando... it's charming if I do it, right? If in the next phrase you decide to insult pasta I might have to walk off, just so you're aware how thin the ice is you're currently dancing on."

"Now why would I insult pasta? It was the only thing that made the hoards of drunken German and British tourists who fought over those beaches bearable. But alright, I'll admit that when you do it it's more charming. If only because your accent is adorable."

Tony raises his eyebrows again, and then the song ends, and the escort stills, not letting go of Jarvis immediately, his hand resting on Jarvis' hip. "Up for another one, or should we go toast to ourselves?"

The sensation of Tony's hands lingering makes the billionaire suddenly reluctant to lose it. Because once they part he knows he may never have it again, since despite the escort’s admonitions to behave, Tony just made him feel - comfortable. "Solo un altro ballo?"

"Certo," Tony allows easily, and picks up the dance again, knowing he's won Jarvis over the same way he's won over countless rich dates, "I'm not sure I want to know what exactly you mean by telling me my accent is adorable, but I'll take it as a compliment. Your accent is plenty adorable as well, English guy."

"So I've been told."

The sheer pleasure of being indulged makes Jarvis want to laugh. It's an impulse he crushes down ruthlessly. Later he'll chastise himself for falling for his escort's charms. After all, they're empty pleasantries meant to open his pockets and give him the illusion of a relationship for one night.

It's not a luxury he can afford if he wants to keep his sanity intact.

But for now he would buy into the illusion. Believe for a few, brief hours that someone in this room actually _likes_ him without pretense. When the dance winds down Jarvis allows himself one more playful indulgence, bowing with a smirk over Tony's hand. "It was a pleasure sharing this dance." And if he plays up the posh accent who but he and Tony was to know.

"I feel a little like Liz Bennet," Tony says, and, true to the role, does a little curtsy, eyes dancing with amusement when he’s looking up at Jarvis.

"Please don't tell me who that would make me. I really don't want to know."

Tony simply grins. "Come, I've deserved a good glass of very expensive champagne.”

This time it's Jarvis who maneuvers them off the dance floor, deftly snatching two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. "Considering the price to get in I can only hope the champagne is expensive." He takes a sip to punctuate his point, acting as if he were weighing the quality on his tongue. "For champagne, decent. But then it's champagne, I think it's always supposed to be just a little awful."

"Point taken," Tony laughs over his glass, lifting it towards Jarvis. "To you, Jarvis."

"Oh dear, a toast to me, am I meant to join in? Seems a touch conceited. But very well," Jarvis raises his own glass. "To my ego."

Tony clinks their glasses together, taking a sip, and letting a brief moment of silence stretch between them while he considers the room and the people around them.

To think that he was so determined to hate Jarvis, and then the other ends up being too adorable to hate.

"What's your curfew, Jarvis?" He asks, turning to the other again. "There some morning meetings I should take into consideration before kidnapping you late into the night?"

"Afraid you'll have to run after me with a glass slipper?" He glances at the clock, even though he is more than aware of the time. "We've lasted more than the polite amount of time I would say. Sam will take you wherever you want after this."

"Do I make you feel like a Princess, Jarvis?" Tony blatantly teases, then takes the initiative again to navigate through the crowd.

They are already at the door now, the billionaire and his escort smoothly tossing out apologies and excuses to other guests. Jarvis has to stop himself from gritting his teeth at every knowing glance he receives when they see Tony by his side.

His fingers itched for a keyboard, despite the hours he had been awake. But there is still one last question to be asked. "So should I tear up your card or would you permit me to call upon your 'aid' at a later date? I'll be certain to not leave it last minute again."

Brown eyes lock with blue ones, and Tony doesn't really have to think about it. "Keep the card, if you have a use for it," he says, pulling his lips up in a smile,

"You talk as if you were saying goodbye, but we are getting into the same car, are we not?"

Jarvis’ lips pull up into another smile at that. "Same car, yes. But I have a feeling we won't be sharing it long." The coffee house where they'd met was still an easy walk away. Tony must live somewhere close by. Or so he assumed.

"It's not about time, but timing," Tony replies, his words only slightly more enigmatic than his smile, and then Sam pulls the car to a stop neatly in front of them, and the escort is already at the door, holding it open for Jarvis.

"After you, Jarvis."

Say what one would about the man, but he did his job well. He even catches a smirk on the driver's face as he slides into the back seats, though it's gone be the time the escort joins them. "As you control the evening, where to next?" The question is out as soon as the door has closed on the world and he wants to laugh.

"Now you're just tempting me into saying 'another bar', Jarvis," Tony says, sounding as if he wanted it to come across as admonishing, but not quite managing it.

"No, tonight I won't be in here much longer, as you said - Sam, can you drop me off at Lady Liberty's feet?" It's as close to Little Italy as Tony dares having himself being driven.

The driver nods, and Tony smiles in response, before turning his attention back to the billionaire at his side. "So, back to the important bit - did you enjoy yourself, Jarvis?"

"Oh yes, I especially enjoyed when you made Mrs. Channing look like she'd just sucked on a lemon. The woes of the upper class make for great entertainment to someone as low brow as I." He nods at Tony as the car pulls smoothly into traffic. They would reach their destination soon and he couldn’t help but briefly try to guess at where his companion was headed. But this was New York, a city that could change with every block.

"I'd ask you the same but I suspect you'd use it as yet another opportunity to flatter me." _You wouldn't tell me the truth. That's not why people pay you._

"Hm, that's probably true," and here Tony does smile, "though I really do enjoy flattering you." And there, nice little roundabout pirouette found to satisfy everyone involved.

"I don't usually ask," and that's a half-lie that slips effortlessly over Tony's lips, "but with you I think I should." Tony is suddenly much, much closer to Jarvis, the escort's chest almost bumping into the billionaire's shoulder.

"Do you want a goodnight kiss?"

There's no time to think or question before the other man is suddenly so close. And it has been so long since Jarvis has allowed someone to even offer. It's tempting. One kiss, some banal comfort in a lie built between them, forged upon Jarvis's wealth.

But Jarvis likes to think that he's grown up enough to know that empty pleasantries might only make him want to fall into this clever little fantasy even more. And that would make the reality outside this even harsher to bear in the light of day.

So instead he dons his usual mask, all smiles and warm friendship (ignore that it's all a play), and shakes his head. "Dancing and now kisses, you pamper me too much. I might actually begin to think I'm entitled to more comforts." His head dips, a subtle acknowledgement and dismissal in one. "Have a good night, Tony."

"Oh," and here Tony was so _sure_ of himself, the dark-haired man's expression showing some puzzlement, surprise, and maybe there's a little disappointment swinging in his voice, as well.

It feels like losing, somehow. And Tony has to stomp down hard on his temper to not turn indignant and accusing, _what is that supposed to mean, don't you think I can decide myself how much I want to pamper you, shut up, I know-- I thought-- you wanted this--_

"Of course, Jarvis," and Tony smiles a smile that is as dishonest as it gets, brushing his hand only vaguely against Jarvis' bicep, as if it was an accident, "good night."

And he slips out of the car, into the fresh night air, waving briefly at Sam because he hasn't forgotten his manners, thank you very much. "I _did_ have fun," he clarifies, then gives a last small wave and lets the door fall shut, stepping back from the car.

The sound of the door closing sounds hollow to Jarvis’ ears, and he is left feeling older than he is and drained. "If you tell me that I should have kissed him I will dock your pay."

"Empty threat, sir. Just like I know you're going to give him a huge tip."

The truth of it has Jarvis sighing. "I knew I should have taken up whipping you lot more." He's answered with a chuckle and the car pulling back into traffic and away. Maybe after working for a couple hours he could fall asleep tonight.

Tony watches the car drive off, pulling his tie loose and then pulling it off entirely, pushing it into a pant pocket, then shrugging out of his jacket, throwing it over his shoulder in a practiced move, pulling the crisp shirt out of his pants and rolling the sleeves up unevenly his arms.

Looking down at himself critically, Tony decides he looks appropriate enough for his neighborhood, and turns to walk.

His irritation dissipates quickly, and he slows his steps down to a stroll, humming to himself. He'll have other opportunities to make Jarvis Thompson forget being proper, there's little doubt about that, and Tony has always relished a challenge.

* * *

In the weeks to come, Jarvis calls upon Tony’s services almost regularly, and to Tony, it becomes a sort of game - see whether he can make the other flush, or render him speechless, without crossing his boundaries ever completely, and all the while acting as the businessman’s human shield.

But while Tony is enjoying a neat little game of ‘let’s see if I can corrupt this one’, Jarvis’ insomnia worsens still for entirely different reasons.

Jarvis never expected his business to become so big. It was easy when it was just him, and still easily manageable when it was just a couple other employees. But having hundreds and more people rely on him for their livelihood - that is more than what Jarvis remembers ever signing up for, and what started piling stress on his shoulders. He had less time for coding and computers - which means that, to him, the merger is a godsend, because finally, finally, Jarvis will be able to pass over the bulk of the business end to Pepper and go back to what he actually enjoys doing.

He is looking forward to that day. But in the meantime, the face that is looking back at Jarvis from the mirror looks like half a hell, and he has little choice but to sigh and reach for the concealer he left lying on the basin.

Odd as it might sound, the nights Jarvis was able to meet Tony have quickly become his calm in the storm. There was still so much to do with the merger drawing closer - but Tony, he was able to make all of that fall into the background.

Sam had parked the car in front of the area where he and Tony had agreed to meet and Jarvis was trying to will away the time as he waiting for the other man to arrive. Now if only everything would stop blurring.

Tony knocks at the driver's window, cheerily waving at Sam - who rolls her eyes, if good-naturedly, and unlocks the door so the escort can slip in next to Jarvis.

"Hello, Sam, and hello, Jarvis," he lifts the other's hand to his lips, letting his breath ghosting over skin, only shy of actually kissing it, and then looks up to smile at the blond. Jarvis greets the other with a smile. Maybe being around Tony will help to negate his own lack of energy.

"Have you ever played Candy Crush? it's absolutely infuriating."

"I can't say that I have. For a very good reason I might add."

"This just means there's another vice I can introduce to you," Tony remarks, sounding satisfied with that, "and have I already mentioned that suit looks fantastic on you?"

"Heavens help me," Jarvis returns, trying to summon a smile. And then his lips curve up still further. "Not yet, but I believe it's implied. I always look amazing." With a liberal dose of makeup and caffeine these days. He almost wants to shudder at the memory of the energy drink he did have earlier, but he had to attend this event, and sleeping was just-- it didn't work.

"Good of you to notice," Tony smirks, "I told you the exact same thing how many times before it started sticking with you? In any case, my point stands - you can still learn from me, Mr. Amazing Looks. Now compliment me too, è più che giusto."

"Giusto. Your hair looks nice styled like that," Jarvis smirks right back. The truth? Tony looks as delectable as ever, gorgeous as always.

Tony's eyebrows raise at that. "You were better at that when we first met, remember? _You put all those supermodels to shame_ , you said. It's like my presence is sucking the charm right out of you." For a second, that remark has Jarvis terrified that the escort can see through his mask and is describing the exhaustion behind it.

But Tony sighs instead, putting one hand on his forehead in a overly dramatic gesture. "How often will I have to try and make you behave, Jarvis?"

"I'm known for being quite defiant, you may have to remind me more often than not." Jarvis relaxes again at that, thinking that maybe he'll be able to survive the night.

"I fear you might be right about that," Tony sighs, then lets the hand drop. "But I suppose for tonight I'll have to deal with being the guy with the nice hair. I can hardly put into words how under-appreciated I feel, will Pepper be there? I want to complain at Pepper about how impossible you are."

Jarvis wishes he could think up a good retort to that. His eyes close briefly before he forces them open again. "She will. You can commiserate about me together; talk about what a terrible person I am and compare notes," the idea is amusing if nothing else.

For a moment, there is silence between them, Tony mustering Jarvis with his brows raised. Something... is _off_. "Is something the matter? Is it something I said? You know I won't really complain to Pepper, right?"

"No, nothing is wrong." Jarvis waves off the concern; this was something he was used to dealing with, after all. Insomnia is an old friend of his at this point. "And honestly, I doubt it would be the first time she complained about me. I'm sure she'd love to have an ally. Harold and I get along too well for her own state of mind."

"It's Happy, he gets along with everyone," Tony comments lightly, watching Jarvis more closely now - the way the other is holding himself alone hints towards stress, and Tony puts a palm on Jarvis' shoulder, rubbing light circles into it one-handed.

"You, however, feel tense as a brick wall, Jarvis. I'm here, remember? This event will be no burden to you whatsoever, I'll take care of that. And maybe I'll get you a little buzzed this time, just a bit, hm?"

It's such a small thing, insignificant in the face of what he's facing, but just that touch has Jarvis’ eyes sliding closed again. He has to take a deep breath, hoping that would help him pull himself together. But he's so far gone, has been for hours, that he can't resist how hypnotic it feels.

"I'd rather avoid a buzz tonight," he sighs. "I fear it would make me more tired."

Tony can see the other's eyes slide closed, and then Jarvis is almost leaning towards him, and from the looks of it, unconscious he's doing it.

The car stops, and Tony frowns.

"Jarvis, I don't like this - maybe if you're so tired you should go home and rest, you might be catching something, or - I don't know, but -"

_No_ , Jarvis jerks up, eyes popping open as he shakes off the hand. "No, I have obligations, and this is one of them," he forces a smile again. "And besides, we're here. It's only three hours spent pandering to high society. And with you at my side it'll be a breeze."

For a brief moment, Tony wars with himself - but the well-trained instinct to do _whatever the client wants_ wins out and he smiles his usual charming smile. "Of course, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to open your own door, just so we're clear."

And then the escort is out of his own door, walking around the car to open Jarvis' own, and as usual, offering his hand to the other.

"Let me show off my date that always looks amazing," he murmurs to the blond, amusement in his voice.

A deep breath to brace himself and Jarvis accepts the hand, social smile firmly in place as the cameras go off and they are swept into the tide, Tony’s hand on the small of his back feeling like the most natural thing.

And then it's the same round of greetings and platitudes that mark these events. If this time around he lets Tony do even more of the talking than usual, that was no one else's business but their own. And honestly, he was so bloody thankful for Tony's presence. As an hour passed and the next began he could admit to himself that he would not have been able to do this on his own.

"Ah Pepper, as beautiful as ever. Tell me, when are you going to agree to leave that husband of yours and elope? I'm certain Tony and Harold could console each other." Jarvis greets his future partner with a smile and kisses her cheek.

"Not tonight I'm afraid," she replies back. "Tony would pout and Harold would end up marathoning Downtown Abbey in his grief."

"Excuse me, I do decidedly not pout," Tony injects, raising his eyebrows at Pepper, then directing the same critical look at Jarvis, "besides, if there was any eloping happening from anyone present, it would be absurd not to take me along."

Pepper both chuckles and shakes her head good-naturedly at the dark-haired man before turning her attentions back to Jarvis. The corner they were in afforded them enough privacy that she allowed herself to let her concern show through, the space between her brows wrinkling as she eyes her friend critically. "I might have to follow through on my threat to get you that massage," she mutters.

Jarvis frowns back and then shakes his head with a playful smile. "I think I'll be more likely to survive without your tortures to help me along."

"Speaking of torture," Tony injects, way too brightly, "your shoes are killing me from looking at them, Pepper, you beautiful person, and Jarvis - come dance with me."

"Yes dear," the command receives the eye roll it deserves. Though secretly Jarvis dreads trying to fight his tired body to be as graceful as usual.

"A massage would be torture for you?" The escort whispers the question under his breath, a little smile playing around his lips even as he arranges them on the dancefloor, looking up at the other, taking the lead as he is wont to do.

"Because I'd be tempted to disprove that theory. I can give a simple shoulder massage at least--"

"It's torture when it's Pepper dragging you about town in what she considers a relaxing day. Have you ever experienced one of her 'let down your hair' outings? I have the theory she does it because watching people like me fumble with mud baths and mint facials relieves her stress."

It takes all his concentration not to stumble. But the memory of those fingers rubbing small circles into his back nearly causes his eyes to slide closed again. He forces them open, trying to focus on following Tony's steps. Where was a Red Bull when you needed it?

Tony laughs at that, pulling them a little closer for the next, slower song, holding back from mentioning how Jarvis seems to almost lean into him. "I haven't had the pleasure, no, but I am sure I would actually manage to enjoy that."

"That is because you are a hedonist," Jarvis says simply. The slower song is so much nicer, he thinks muzzily, the pace easily starting him onto another lull. Without realising it, he's nearly completely leaning against the body holding him, eyes sliding shut as the music pulls him further under.

When the song stops and another one starts, Jarvis doesn't move from Tony's shoulder, and Tony blinks - the other is heavy against him, and not very responsive, and _for fuck's sake._

Lowly he mumbles some Italian swear words under his breath, smiling at the people that send them curious looks, because of course this is _totally normal,_ and then Tony pats Jarvis' cheek.

"Jarvis. Jarvis, come on, I can't actually carry you from the room," he whispers, and when he gets the first hint of a reaction, starts pulling Jarvis off of the dancefloor and keeps the pace going, through the crowd and into a passage away from the noise.

Pepper, who's probably half-angel, comes up behind them with swift steps, pressing a key into Tony's palm who raises a curious eyebrow at her, but she just shrugs. "This is a hotel, and Jarvis needs to lie down," she says, also making her tone sound as if this was totally normal.

"Agreed," Tony says, frowning, "but I'm not good at sitting around and I'm too expensive to be paid to sit at someone's bed watching over them, doesn't he need a doctor more than a date right now?"

Jarvis seems to catch the word doctor, having enough presence of mind to mumble a complaint that gets completely ignored by all other parties present.

All the response Tony gets from Pepper is her waving him off. "Don't talk back to me. Just go."

Jarvis comes to by degrees - and when he blinks at his surroundings again, it simply leaves him more confused. "Why is there a bed?" He knows that there shouldn't be beds in a ballroom.

A slow perusal of the space and his eyes alight on the only other occupant. "I thought we were dancing," he says plaintively. This was all so confusing. Then again he was so very tired. When had he last been able to sleep?

"Dio, he's delusional," Tony mutters, putting the hotel key down without really looking, smiling at Jarvis instead. _Delusional, but cute._

"I'm terrible at sleeping," Jarvis says in the end. "Bloody awful at it. Brain is never quiet enough," why were they trying to make him do something he was terrible at?

"That's okay, Jarvis, because I'm helping you today, okay? Besides, you were terrible at dancing just now, too, haven't we talked about my toes before and how precious they are?"

The escort pulls Jarvis' jacket off his shoulders, pushing the blond around to make him sit on the bed and taking off his shoes, then moves to loosen the billionaire's tie. "You're a right dimwit, you are," he mumbles, concentrated on the task, "but no, instead of sending both of us home you insist you want to party, and don't you dare blame me if people think we're getting it on like Donkey Kong--"

Jarvis is losing the battle against himself again, his eyes slowly slipping closed against his will. It's been a long time since someone else had undressed him and the sensation is strange. It's enough to force him to open his eyes again and work at the buttons on his shirt.

"Appearances, appearances. That's all it is," he mumbles. "And I don't mind. At least people will be jealous of me," he says with an incoherent grin. "I'm jealous of me."

Tony laughs a breathless little chuckle at that, putting his hand on top of Jarvis' head, almost petting the other like a cat.

"You're drunk," he accuses, "drunk on lack of sleep and probably falling ill. At least I don't think you're feverish, but honestly, Jarvis."

Jarvis’ nose wrinkles at the comment about being drunk. "I just can't sleep. Can't control it."

Tony takes note of the comment, but doesn’t otherwise reply, instead pressing his palm to the other's forehead to check the temperature, then shrugs out of his own jacket and puts it over a chair, after some brief hesitation sitting down next to Jarvis to relieve the blond billionaire of the awkward fumbling with his shirt buttons.

"You probably wouldn't try to undress around me if you were able to think straight," he says, a statement more than anything else, attempting dispel the strange intimacy of the moment.

"Mmm probably. I'm not as handsome as you," a statement of fact, and a compliment that has Tony’s lips wing up into a smile, Jarvis watching the other from under half-lidded eyes. Tony is gorgeous, and rightly so. His work relies on those looks. Jarvis is self aware enough to know he'd never manage the same.

The instant he feels the shirt slide off his shoulders he gives into gravity and falls back against the mattress. He doesn't hesitate to crawl up the blankets until his head is resting against a pillow as he gazes back up at his companion.

It's takes every bit of his 'drunken' courage to say the next. "Will you stay? Just tonight."

"Pepper spoke like she wanted me to," Tony replies vaguely, looking down at the other, "but I'm-- I still think I'm not the person that should be here right now, I don't know what I'm gonna do if you start throwing up on me."

He shrugs, feeling a little out of his depth and pretty confused. Why is Jarvis asking this of him?

But the way Jarvis is looking at him--

Tony huffs. "Fine. I'm staying. Stupid rich people, incredibile, ti ha causato un sacco di problemi..."

"Scusi," Jarvis whispers. "You can go if you want," he continues, mumbling into the pillow. "Sam will take you. I'm not sick; just-- insomnia," he finishes with a vague wave of his hand. " 'M used to it."

Tony bites his tongue on calling the other an 'idiot' this time (one does not insult clients, remember, Tony?), simply shaking his head instead. "You just asked me to stay, Jarvis," he points out, his voice soft, "so I'm staying. Anything to make you happy, remember? Well," and the escort shrugs, wearing a little smirk, "not quite anything, but this is relatively simple."

He kicks off his shoes, arranging himself so he's sitting on the bed with his back at the wall, and close enough to Jarvis he can reach out and pet the other if he so desires. The escort is quickly deciding to do just that, the fingers of his right hand drawing circles into Jarvis' hair while he gets his phone out with his other hand, texting his mamma that he's 'staying over at a friend's' tonight.

It's not even conscious on Jarvis’ part. Maybe he could blame it on the hand petting through his hair. Or that tone in the others voice. In any case, one arm comes up, draping over the other man's lap and he curls as close as is comfortable.

Finally he gives up the battle and lets sleep take him.

Tony pauses the movement of his hand when Jarvis, with more strength than he should have in his half-asleep state, moves to hold Tony close. Looking down at the other, curling in towards him like a child, Tony feels something inside of him ache. The sight would've melted hearts harder than his own, and the escort sighs. "No, that's fine, I can be your overpriced snuggle toy," he murmurs, continuing his circling motions, looking at his mamma's response with a wry smile.

Maria definitely thinks he's having a hot date.

But Jarvis next to him seems now completely relaxed, having fallen into a deep sleep almost immediately. Hard to believe that this man is struggling so much with insomnia, looking at him like this--

Tony, with his night-owl tendencies, is wide awake in the room for hours still, his own eyes sliding shut only in the early morning hours.

* * *

The first thing Jarvis registers is that he actually feels rested, content and warm like he hasn't experienced in a long time. He sighs, shifting, whether it's to be closer to the warmth he doesn't know. Either way he's brought up short by a heavy weight on his arm. A small movement of his fingers brings the pins and needles sensation of a limb that's fallen asleep.

And that's what brings him completely out of sleep. Eyes slit blearily open and fall upon the sight of a sleep-rumpled man. A blink, but the sight doesn't go away. It takes long minutes before the events of the past night return with a groan and a sigh.

Well, there is no point lamenting the past. But there are other needs to attend to now that he'd had sleep. It's not easy trying to regain the use of his own arm and when the movement causes Tony to shift again he stills, falling back to the pillows with a soft huff.

He's afraid to look at the other man like this. Soft and vulnerable in sleep. A sight that isn't for his own eyes, too private and intimate, not the sort of thing money entitles you to.

The movement makes Tony's nose wrinkle, the man clinging to his sleep - and then it stops and _yes good I can keep sleeping_.

Only, at this point, Tony's conscious has other ideas and he feels himself losing the war with wakefulness, something at the back of his mind urging him to wake up, there was something... important...?

Lazily - and a little begrudgingly too - Tony blinks his eyes open, and has a moment of complete disorientation looking at Jarvis. "Wha..." but his brain works faster than his mouth, letting him catch up on what happened at night before the question is fully out.

He doesn't really move, though, yawning instead, meaning to ask whether it is morning already, but what comes out of his mouth is more along the lines of " 's morning?"

Good question. Unfortunately the wrist that wears Jarvis’ watch is the one Tony has stolen. The blond has to twist awkwardly to see the alarm clock on the bedside. "Moderately so. In a few minutes it will be afternoon."

Now that Tony is awake it's safe to look at him. "I'm afraid that when I crash I crash hard. But at least this time it was for a more sane amount of time." He sighs, how embarrassing. But those Saudi businessmen had expected him to attend.

"Ahh," Tony comments, willing his voice to shake off the sleepy quality, and then slowly raises into a sitting position, discovering the arm he's been laying on.

"Oh. Sorry," he says, sheepishly, reaching out to draw circles into the limb with his palm. "This is actually the time I usually get up at - more or less, so I'm not particularly bothered."

Jarvis grimaces as more feeling returns to his arm. "Considering I wasted your night sleeping I really can't complain about my arm."

The state of his shirt, however, is another story, and Tony vaguely picks at some wrinkles in it with the hand that isn't massaging Jarvis' forearm, frowning a little because short from bringing this to a dry cleaner, he'll never get those out of there again.

The billionaire knows the look Tony is giving his shirt, he's been in similar situations before. "I'll cover the expense of having it dry cleaned. Least I can do."

"Nonsense," Tony lifts his head to give Jarvis the same frowny look he gave his shirt, "I think you've got the dry-cleaning of my shirt already covered, or need I remind you of the massive tip you insist on paying every time?"

Tony lowers his head again then, almost embarrassed thinking of the money Jarvis hands over to him on a regular basis, and draws his hand back from Jarvis' arm.

When Tony pulls back Jarvis wants to frown, but he knows better than to comment, just retracts his arm and drapes it over his eyes instead. "You are worth every penny you ask for," Jarvis mutters instead. "You are a literal lifesaver. You're certainly worth more than the army of lawyers I'm required to keep on retainer. Better company too." Even years playing the game doesn't make anything easy.

And Tony, without looking up, breathes a little easier at the admission. "Maybe you should try taking something for your insomnia," he mumbles vaguely, studying the bedsheet.

"What you suggest I do? Take some magical pills to make me fall asleep?" Jarvis sighs. "Even if this wasn't something that I've had my whole life, I can't afford the time those pills would keep me under."

"I have no idea," Tony admits, and breathes a deep sigh, "It's just, it was a little dramatic yesterday, so maybe... you've had this your whole life? Did you ever fall asleep in the middle of a bike ride, or while sitting on a tree, or while walking into a lamppost?"

When he looks at Jarvis again, it's with a wry smile. "Because after yesterday, I can imagine those happening."

Jarvis laughs, and if his cheeks are maybe more colored than usual thanks to some embarrassment, Tony doesn’t mention it. "No, yesterday was more the exception than the rule. It's insomnia, not narcolepsy. Usually it involves me passing out on my keyboard, rather than the dance floor." What he doesn't want to admit is that it was rarely this severe.

"It's just, there has been so much happening. I just chose to put the hours I'd be laying in bed trying to sleep, doing something worthwhile." So many people were relying on him. Pepper, she would be a better choice than he is.

"When I couldn't sleep as a kid, lullabies helped," Tony offers with a slight smirk. "Maybe you need someone to sing to you?"

He almost laughs, then sobers, putting on a thinking face. "I mean, I guess I could actually do that for you? My mamma always said I had la voce di un angelo, not that she can be trusted with that kind of thing."

And that does it, Jarvis is laughing even more. "No, no I don't think I could keep a straight face if I called you up on some random night and asked you to come over just to sing me a lullaby."

"Hm," Tony allows his lips to quirk up in amusement, "true that would be a little excessive, but we have phones these days. You know, portable things that carry voices?"

"Heavens help me, of course you'd have a reasonable solution to this." Jarvis’ own amusement mirrors Tony's. Until a thought occurs to him. "Speaking of," he heaves himself up and looks around for his coat, spotting it across the room. His steps are still a little uncoordinated as he crosses the room, fumbling through his pockets and finding his phone.

Which he had forgotten to charge. A sigh. "If I believed in a greater power I would think that it's sending me a message here."

Tony slowly slides off the bed, stretching his arms over his head before looking at Jarvis, vaguely worrying his lower lip.

"I'm sure they'll let you make a call or something. Or I could let you borrow mine, but... I'm pretty protective of my phone."

"It's not anything pressing or important," well, at least Jarvis could count on Pepper to have warned Sam that she could go home. "Don't worry, I understand all about being protective of your tech." His own phone was entirely unique. If only because his own standards were exacting and high.

"Good," Tony nods, smiling at that. "Do you have to go anywhere in your usually hurried fashion or can we go have brunch somewhere?"

"My usual, hurried fashion. Is that what I've become? Ugh," the horror. Another sigh and Jarvis combs a hand through his hair. "I suppose it can't hurt. Maybe I should make you pay this time around if you're so self-conscious about the tips I give you," it's obvious he's not being serious.

"And fight you over the tab?" Tony asks, matching Jarvis' usual dry tone, slightly rolling his eyes at the other, "I don't think that's quite worth the effort. Now I'll have to go attempt to right the wrong that is my hair - I'm pretty sure I woke up looking like I've been debauched, it happens every time."

"Look on the bright side, people will start asking you how you managed to convince me to go to bed with you. And you can have your revenge against me by informing everyone of how boring I am between the sheets," and he's laughing again as he moves to sit up.

Distantly he wonders if he should ask how much keeping Tony around for the entire night is going to cost him, but considering he could buy an entire country if he wanted at this point, it just seems like a cheap question, rather than the playful way he would intend.

"Why should people ask, do they need to do more than look at me?" Tony jokes, and pulls his lips into a grin, already at the bathroom door before he turns around again, wearing a thoughtful expression. "To be fair, you _were_ pretty boring..."

"Story of my life, yeah?" He waves at the other man. "Go, fix your hair, you narcissist." Jarvis’ smile is a little wry at that - he doesn’t doubt the other would have been bored even if they _had_ sex. None of the billionaire’s sexual adventures have ever been very enjoyable.

"Yes, sir, right away, sir," and Tony pulls the bathroom door closed behind him, frowning at his mirror image, having little hope to get the wild chaos on his head under control, and sighs, starting by splashing water in his face instead.

When he comes out again, his hair is maybe a little more artfully tousled - it's hard to tell. In truth, there is little difference.

"I should start making lists with all the things you call me," he says, casually sliding up to Jarvis, "apparently I'm a hedonist, a narcissist, what were the other ones? I'm sure there was 'opportunist' somewhere, too--"

"I could think up a few. Egotistical, barmy, I might even have to start digging through other languages just to expand on your horizons." While Tony had been fighting with his hair, Jarvis had taken the opportunity to retrieve his shirt and shoes, silently lamenting how disheveled he looked.

Ah well, let the gossips have their fun. There were worse people they could think he'd taken a turn in the sheets with.

"Barmy?" Tony tilts his head at the other, then smiles. "And here I thought you hadn't seen that side of me." The escort pulls his jacket on with smooth, practiced movements, twiddling with his tie while toeing at his shoe.

"I may not hasn't seen it, but I feel that I can safely assume it exists." Jarvis is trying to stay dispassionate, but seeing Tony like this is messing with his willpower.

"So, what kind of food are you up to? We don't have to go far, there's a café across the street."

Thankfully the subject of food is enough to distract the billionaire from the way Tony playfully balances his second shoe around in the air - nobody should be that cute while putting on shoes, anyways... when was the last time he ate?

"Across the street sounds perfect. At this point I'll take anything that's edible and somewhat nutritious."

"Alright, let's see if they have bacon," Tony waves the hotel key at the billionaire, "you want to hold onto this or go check out?"

Jarvis eyes the key for a moment before plucking it out of Tony's fingers. "There's no reason to add to the bill. Might as well check out, unless, of course, you've left a sock in there."

"I'm wearing my socks, thank you," Tony retorts, clearly amused, and then pulls the blond out of the room in his usual you-go-where-I-want fashion. Jarvis lets it happen, rolling his eyes. "And you claim I'm the one always in a hurry."

“I can be in a hurry for food,” the escort admits, smirking, and comes to a stand in front of the hotel reception. "We'd like to check out," he informs the lady behind the counter, directing a smile at her even as she raises elegantly plucked eyebrows at the pair.

Tony finds if she's thinking dirty thoughts right now, he doesn't really mind.

Jarvis tries not to pay the receptionist much mind. He knows how they look, rumpled shirts and tousled hair. Obviously only have just pulled themselves from their room. There's no point raising any objections or comments. They are discreet at this hotel, it's the world outside that he might have to worry about. Perhaps he should have sent for one of their personal grooming kits...

"You know," he says as they step outside. "I think it'd be amusing to convince everyone who stares at us that we spent the night at a bachelor party. Tell me, which of us looks most likely to be tying the knot?"

"Definitely you," Tony decides immediately, "and it's also you who slept through most of the bachelor party. I can't wait to tell someone that I'm terribly insulted we got into bed together and nothing happened, though I guess that would mess with the bachelor story? In which case that probably has to wait."

They cross the street quickly, and when Tony walks into the comfortable-looking café, his mouth immediately starts to water. "I need all the coffee this place has, some donuts and bacon--"

"If you are getting that much coffee then you are definitely paying the bill." The noon rush hasn't started quite yet, but there was still a small line. "Sadly I have no excuse for sleeping through the entire thing. Maybe I was just that bored."

"Don't test me, Jarvis, I actually might pay the bill, and what will you do then, hm?"

But Tony is smiling despite his serious tone of voice. "Maybe you order. I'm too hungry to make any good decisions, I'm gonna go grab a table - but don't come back without coffee!" A stern, raised finger gets waved into Jarvis' face, then Tony slips away, aiming for a table in the back.

"Maybe it'd be nice to have someone treat me to brunch," but it's mumbled under his breath, Tony having already walked away. Jarvis offers the woman behind the counter a bright smile and orders. Black tea for him, two cups of coffee for Tony (because he's feeling playful), and two of the paninis he'd seen in the case.

He weaves through the increasingly crowded cafe until he reaches the table Tony had chosen, setting the cardboard drinks tray with his companions in front of him. "There, not only did I pay for coffee, an honour I reserve only to placate business associates, but I got you two. You should adore me."

"Oh, I do," Tony assures the billionaire, feeling playful enough to raise and give Jarvis a brief kiss on the cheek before he sits down, immediately starting to gulp down the first coffee, sighing contentedly, opening one eye - he's closed them when drinking - to look up at Jarvis. "You're allowed to sit down, by the way. Which panini is mine?"

Jarvis shakes himself out of his bemused stupor. "I do not believe I've ever seen anyone drink down a cup of coffee like that. Certainly more impressive than my own humble skill at downing a pint in eight seconds."

He takes a seat and pushes one of the wrapped sandwiches towards the other man. "They're both the same so take whichever."

"Buon appetito! And thanks," Tony pulls the second cup of coffee towards him along with a sandwich, biting into it with relish.

"Good," is his verdict, nodding at Jarvis and licking his lips after the first bite, "well chosen. Though I'd probably eat something burnt and over salted right now and call it good all the same, la fame è il miglior cuoco, no?"

"Ehna in Hawa Sawa." Jarvis smirks as he takes a bite of his own food, hunger catching up to him now that he had it in front of him. He falls to silence then, focusing on eating. He realizes that he must have been hungrier than he thought when, before he knew it, the sandwich was gone.

"Well, I certainly feel more human now," the billionaire says, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of his tea.

"Why are you talking... that was Arabic, wasn't it? Why're you using your bizarre business talk languages on me, Jarvis? Trying to impress me?"

Tony finishes soon after Jarvis, resisting the urge to lick his fingers and taking a napkin instead. "I'd say dessert is on me, and I'm gonna chose, sound good?"

"I won't say no to dessert, just try not to break your bank while you're at it. And isn't it the same reason you keep using Italian? Should I switch to French instead? No one could ever mistake French for a business language." Jarvis smirks as if at a private joke.

Tony pouts at that, frowning slightly at the other. "Don't start. I won't ever accept that _baguette tour d'eiffel_ is supposed to be the language of romance and love, just - neanche per sogno!"

"Il y a des bonnes raisons qu’on dit baiser à la française." Jarvis simply could not resist that one last parting shot, and Tony is still shaking his head as he walks off towards the counter, distracting himself with the sweets on offer.

When the dark-haired man returns, he places the tray on the table before Jarvis as if he was presenting a luxury meal. "We have! Strawberry cheesecake - that one's for you - the biggest chocolate chip donut they had - that one's for me - two average sized glazed donuts, because what's dessert without a little sugar high, and one pistachio milkshake, which I'm willing to share if you're nice."

Jarvis has to push back a touch of sorrow that wanted to break free. How was it fair that his escort, a man he paid to act like a friend and partner, knew what sort of dessert to buy him. Yes it was true that anyone who spent any time around him could suss out that he liked strawberries. But, after this night, and a morning spent bantering so light-heartedly, it would have been less painful if Tony had gotten him something else.

But those thoughts never show on his face, he accepts the slice of cheesecake with a smile and a nod.

"Don’t think I’ve forgiven your French kiss comment back there, by the way. Why have you got to be such a meanie?" An exaggerated sigh. "Besides," and Tony slides back into his seat, "how is it fair you talk of French kissing to me? You've never French-kissed me in the first place, so really."

_And not for lack of trying,_ Tony mentally adds.

"French kissing is special," Jarvis says primly. "Saved for special occasions only. Not even the supermodels got that sort of kiss from me." _And I don't want to pay an exorbitant price just to taste you._

"French kissing is also lots of fun," Tony points out, nibbling at his first donut, "and you keep withholding fun from your life for no actual good reason, Jarvis. Which is kind of the opposite of my life philosophy. Hakuna matata, right?"

"And this is why I call you hedonist," the billionaire points out, taking a bite from his cheesecake. It shouldn't hurt, but it does. Is he strange or unusual for wanting something... real? Perhaps, but it was something he didn't want to try. Bad enough he was such a cold fish in bed already-- then again, paying for the pleasure might be the only way he could keep someone in his bed again.

"Well, I am half-Italian, of course I'm a hedonist. I just don't think that's a bad thing. You're gonna have one of the donuts, right?"

"If we're going for stereotypes then you should stop trying to corrupt the repressed Englishman. Making me go through an existential might be trying to both our mental states. Then again, you might enjoy watching me committed to an institution." He mock sighs and indulges the other, picking up one if the smaller donuts and nibbling at it.

"I only use stereotypes when it's to my advantage," Tony admits, unashamed, giving the other an innocent smile. "So naturally I still think there's hope for you. But out of curiosity, when was the last time you really kissed someone?"

When indeed. He almost couldn't remember when he'd last been sincere. Almost. "Two years ago. He's an author. It was, pleasant." Though bland. Thankfully they'd been able to admit that to themselves and he could extricate himself from the relationship before yet another partner decided to cheat on him.

"An author," Tony nods, raising his eyebrows at the other. _Two years and you won't let me kiss you, it's a crazy world_. "Sounds nice? I don't think _I've_ kissed an author before."

Then again, it's not like he'd know what everyone he's kissed is doing exactly. "What do you think, want a bit of the milkshake?"

"Have I really been nice enough you're willing to share?" Jarvis smirks, then eyes the cup. Pistachio wasn't technically his favorite flavor. And the act itself felt strangely intimate.

But what was the point of all this of he didn't indulge in at least a couple sins. No matter how circumspect.

"Very well, let's see if this one's up to standards," and he accepts the offer.

"Hm, well, it's a close call, but I decided to be generous," Tony jokes, finishing his second donut with gusto, and, forgetting himself, starts licking at his fingers before remembering where he is and with whom, stopping the motion with only a little embarrassment.

The milkshake was decent, even as Jarvis studiously ignored how it had looked when Tony had licked his fingers like that. And really, he was starting to feel like a teenager. Maybe two years was too long.

"Hmm, it's not terrible," he says as he pushes the cup back.

"Not terrible? What does that mean when you translate it from Jarvis-speak to English?" Tony leans back in his seat, sighing contentedly. Yes, he feels sufficiently stuffed - mission accomplished, not that that stops him from accepting the milkshake and starting to slurp on it casually.

"As I thought, you were definitely underestimating this milkshake. How about it, do you feel ready for the big merger event?"

_Yes._ Jarvis smiles. If there was anything that really made Tony so desirable to his peers, it was this ease with which he switched from smalltalk to business, without ever making it seem like he was only pretending to be interested. "Am I ready to give Pepper permission to terrorise and charm all of my employees? I admit I look forward to seeing what this change will bring. Though perhaps fearful I'll end up locked away in some dark dungeon of her own design to keep me out of the way," the last was said for form's sake. It couldn't be known that he so desperately wanted pull back for a bit. "Maybe I'll go for an extended vacation."

Tony continues slurping at the milkshake, finishing it easily, and then putting the empty cup down. "Oh, excellent idea! Where would you go? The beach somewhere?" Tony grins. "Italy? Beautiful place, glorious food."

"And entire herds of German and British," Jarvis returns with the same teasing he'd taken to whenever discussing Italy with the man.

"Though the beach sounds promising. Provided I take a bucketful of sunscreen with." His greatest lament, loving the sun but the affection being violently denied thanks to his pale skin. "Is that what you'd do? Escape to Italy for a time?"

"Hm, maybe? I'd like to go to Italy in any case." Tony just hopes he's not looking as wistful as he feels about this particular topic. "But I imagine in your place, I'd make it bigger than just a little escape to Italy, travel around Europe."

"I've been around Europe. Although with an admittedly smaller wallet," seeing that wistful look on his companion's face made Jarvis wonder about the man. What held him back from those dreams that he kept so carefully hidden that only flashes of them showed? Though this was not the first time he'd seen that longing. It made him wonder how connected it was to the occasional glimpse of jealousy he'd seen in the past. "No, you're right. It would be... good to see the world with fresh eyes again."

"Maybe there's some corner of the planet you haven't yet seen and always thought you'd like some day? Though, admittedly with you business people that's a little hard, you keep going everywhere without seeing anything."

Tony gives the other a smile. "Anyways, time to return to the real world, hm? I don't know about you but I'm really looking forward to get out of these clothes and have a long shower."

_The real world._ It's good, to be reminded. Jarvis had become too complacent around this disarmingly charming man. "Sounds reasonable. Are you set for the fare? Considering where we normally meet I suspect our destinations are in opposite directions." And he couldn't call his driver. Well, for the best.

"Looks like we'll have to try and get two taxis," Tony says easily, and lifts himself from his seat, offering his hand to the other. "I think I did well with you, Jarvis. You're rested and have been fed enough sugar to last a week."

Jarvis bites back any comments about good customer service and just smiles. Allows the illusion to maintain for the moment "Rested, yes. But a sugar high is hardly something to be proud of." He mirrors Tony  and accepts his hand, intending to only shake it briefly, but Tony is not giving the other a chance to let go, instead leaning in to grasp the others arm with his second hand, pulling the billionaire out of his seat. "You're not off the hook yet, I still have to whistle at taxis for you," he explains, and smirks.

Jarvis has no choice but to go along, so he does. "I suspect my accountant is going to scream when your bill comes in though."

"Your accountant shouldn't be that shocked, I mean, I won't really charge you for that night. I literally just got to sleep free of charge in a hotel room--”

The billionaire doesn't let the surprise show. Nor the hope that wants to make itself known. He's not going to try to rationalize Tony's reasons, or the sincerity. ( _If only I didn't so desperately want to be his friend._ )

"I won't give you a chance to change your mind so I'll just take that and run with it,” the blond says, and Tony smiles brightly as they step out into the street.

“Also, you really should stop fighting it and let me turn you into a hedonist, it would do you good."

That of course makes Jarvis roll his eyes again. "You can try, though you might have to find some different mediums for my indulgences."

"I'm all ears, what kind of medium would make you weak?" Tony raises his eyebrows at the other, half-expecting the other not to answer at all.

"Hey, let's gamble on when I manage to make a taxi stop looking as rumpled as I do - I'm putting a dollar on the first one. It'll keep me motivated."

"I'll put down a dollar on the first two being flagged down by those women over there." But then again...

"Hmm, computers, numbers, intelligent conversation about numerical and engineering theories. Strawberries are a given, oh, and a bit of sunbathing. Maybe a fiction book or two for pure indulgence." He smirks as the first taxi passes them without slowing down.

"Stronzo!" Tony swears after the first taxi, and looks back at Jarvis a little bemusedly at the other's list of possibly tempting vices.

"You are so..." but he just shakes his head, and almost gets run over by the next taxi, swearing in more rapid-fire Italian.

"Boring, yes, I am well aware." His lips twitch despite himself. He doesn't bother trying to flag down one of the cabs himself, it's entirely too entertaining to watch Tony try it himself.

"Trust me, you wouldn't be the first date to tell me that," a pause. "Well, person I've spent significant amounts of my evenings around going to parties."

Just then, a taxi stops in front of them, and Tony can't help but turn to give Jarvis a triumphant look. "Boring isn't the word I'd have used, though I see why you'd think that." He steps towards the taxi, exchanging some quick words with the driver, then opens the door for Jarvis, waving for the other to get in.

He doesn't forget to press a dollar into Jarvis' hand when the other sits in the taxi. "You won," the escort says simply.

Jarvis let's his hand fold over the dollar and nods at his escort. "Have a good day, Tony." Then the door is closed between them and he is calling out his address to the driver. He forces himself not to look back as the taxi pulls out into traffic.

* * *

It is shortly after midnight when Tony takes his phone in hand, and after some brief hesitation, hits the "call" button on Jarvis' contact info.

Even as he lifts the phone to his ear, Tony muses over how strange it feels to call Jarvis like this, outside of any "business" arrangement between the two of them.

The phone ringing is a shock to Jarvis’ system. He's been so deeply engrossed in the new program he just had to get down that the entire world had fallen away. He passes a hand over his face as he glances at the time. Past midnight, when had he last slept?

Oh, right, the phone. Who could possibly be calling him? The name on his caller ID has him blinking and he doesn't even try covering his surprise when he answers. "Is this the call where you ask me to help you hide a body?"

"Sounds like you just marathoned Desperate Housewives ," Tony replies to that, silently laughing on his end. "Hello to you too, who did I kill in your overly active imagination? Probably some business tycoon, right? I never liked being groped without permission, maybe I overreacted and shot them in the chest. I must've had a really bad day."

"Considering the hour it's either that or bail money." Curiosity peaked, Jarvis closes out of the computer and leans back in his chair. "So, dare I ask what this is about? I never expected you to be the sentimental type."

"I meant to ask when a billionaire's bed time is, actually. You think so lowly of me, Jarvis, I'm hurt, truly. I'll have you know I've only been arrested two times."

"Oh didn't you know? There's this thing that happens to a person when they pass the multi-millionaire threshold, where we are suddenly above such petty things like sleep." Jarvis is smiling, dipping his head to hide it even though there was no one else in the room.

"And honestly, just because I passed out at a gala that one night, why should that lead you to think I've been neglecting sleep yet again? Even if it's true."

"You become the height of wit shortly before 1 am, don't you?" Tony jokes back, rolling his eyes despite the fact Jarvis won't be able to see it, smiling a little despite himself. "I promised you a lullaby, remember? Of course, you'll have to go to bed for that. Not above bribing, as you see."

Jarvis honestly can't think of anything of anything to say. He could count on one hand the amount of people who have cared about his health. "Are you-- you were being serious? Why?" He hadn't meant to say the last, it may be a measure of tired he really is that it slipped out like that.

"Well, why not? I'd enjoy doing that, and as you keep accusing me of being a hedonist, naturally I do the things I'd enjoy." Tony notes the surprise in the other's voice, frowning a little. "Why would you think I wasn't serious? I don't joke about my childhood memories."

"I-- it's just unexpected." Understatement of the century. But now Jarvis was curious. And without the light of the computer screen he could suddenly feel the weight of all those hours awake dragging at him. "Fine, in honor of your childhood memories I'll go to bed."

"You probably won't regret it," Tony replies brightly, "but I'll warn you it's a pretty silly song, and if you laugh too loudly it'll throw me off my groove."

Jarvis smiles, even though he knows Tony can't see it over the phone. He wastes little time undressing, crawling between the sheets gratefully, even if he's still dubious over the effectiveness of a lullaby. "I will avail to keep any laughter to myself."

"Good. Are you in bed? You should put me on speaker, one needs to relax during a lullaby."

"Already done so. Both," he'd had SOLACE switch the lines when he'd capitulated.

"Perfect, here goes nothing." Tony clears his throat, then does start singing, keeping his voice soft:

"Bolli bolli pentolino,

fa la pappa al mio bambino;

la rimescola la mamma

mentre il bimbo fa la nanna;

fa la nanna gioia mia

o la pappa scappa via."

Reaching the end of the verse, Tony repeats the small song, lowering his voice further as he does, finishing on hardly more than a whisper. "Good night, Jarvis."

There is no response forthcoming - at the other end of the line, Jarvis is out like a light. Tony just smiles to himself and hangs up, looking at his mirror image critically before drawing his fingers through his hair.

Time to stop hiding in the bathroom to sing a lullaby and get back to his assigned date of the night.

* * *

The next event Tony and Jarvis attend together feels much more mundane compared to the last one. No falling asleep on the dancefloor, or having to be carried to bed by his escort on Jarvis’ end. Just a routine, overly extravagant birthday party.

The billionaire settles back into the seats of the car, eyes sliding closed for a moment as he relished the sudden quiet, finally able to escape the company of so many. "If I ever consider doing anything like that for my birthday, shoot me. I give you full permission to save me from myself."

Tony just smiles. "Shoot you? If I could just as well attempt to convince you to hire a stripper to jump out of your birthday cake? The choice here is obvious."

"Stripper from a birthday cake? No, I suspect you would consider only yourself suitable for such an endeavour."

"Well..." Tony tilts his head, putting on a thinking expression. "It's true it would be fun, but so _messy_. Besides, I imagine it gets cramped in a birthday cake. I might be convinced if you say you'd like that though, would you like that, Jarvis?"

He laughs. "Hmm you in a skimpy outfit? I can't imagine when that wouldn't a delightful sight."

"Oh, I like it when you almost let your charm out around me." Tony looks at the other, his lips quirking up into a smile. _I want to kiss him,_ he thinks suddenly, and leans in a little closer.

"What kind of skimpy outfit would you suggest? French maid, naughty cop?"

"Does it really have to be themed?" Jarvis smirks, heart kicking up as Tony leans closer. He can't decide whether he should hold his ground or lean back. The latter seems the safer course, and he starts to do just that before remembering that they were in the back of a car and had no where to go. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable though.

"No, not really, but I personally like the cop theme," Tony admits, and slowly reaches up for Jarvis' collar. "You can stop me if you want but I don't think you will."

And then he draws the other in, pressing his lips to the billionaire's.

Jarvis should stop him. Stop this going too far for him to follow. But-- He is often a fool and so he doesn't resist as Tony pulls him down into a kiss.

He gasps, a sharp intake of breath. It's--

And then Jarvis is pulling back. “I can’t do this.”

_Over too soon,_ Tony inwardly laments, but smiles anyways. _It's okay, of course Jarvis would be skittish._

"Huh?" And then he blinks, the other's words registering. "Too soon? We don't have to make out on the back seat if you don’t feel comfortable with that, I just thought--"

_Breathe_ , Jarvis tells himself as he turns away. He never wanted it to come to this. "I can't do this with you. I just-- can't. It's not--" _you, it's me. I'm getting too close._ But that's the most ridiculous thing to say to someone, so instead he just shakes his head.

"I think it'd be best if we didn't do this again. I-- you can cancel the rest of our times." No, he couldn't be clinical about this, but how else was he supposed to say this?

Tony's hands are in the air, as if he wanted to touch but couldn't for some absurd reason. "What?" But his voice comes out too quiet, too small.

"Are you serious?" And there's the temper, helpless anger taking over. "You can't be serious!"

Oh that, that almost breaks Jarvis’ resolve. But he knew himself, he couldn't make this a light-hearted game. He was already too close and even the thought of breaking this... friendship was already hurting. His hands clench tightly. No more of those late night lullabies, no more banter and jokes, hearing Tony's outrageous wit, and most of all, having someone to talk to.

"I am. I said I can't do this. And even-- being around you is a temptation."

Tony's mouth opens and closes, and he can't help feeling a bit like a fish out of water. "How exactly," he begins, voice sounding like he can't decide between being angry and damn confused, "is me being a temptation a bad thing?"

Jarvis’ hands tighten further, impossibly so. "What part of _I can't do this_ is unclear?" He breathes deeply through his nose, trying to calm himself. "I learned a long time ago that casual hookups are... not my cup of tea. And that I'm-- I like you too much and I can't. Just..." _Don't make me be cruel._

"So you think I should think that it makes perfect sense that you say, in the same breath, you can't see me anymore and you like me too much?"

Which is when the car stops, Sam reaching Tony's usual drop-off point, and looking back at them to mouth 'sorry'.

"No, that's fine," the escort says, and his voice is ice as he reaches the car door and opens it, "I won't bother you anymore, Jarvis. Good day."

He slams the door on his way out, and it really doesn't make him feel better in the slightest.

Jarvis flinches as the door slams shut. "Just take me home, Sam," he whispers, secure in the knowledge that she'll be able to hear him. He had a long night planned with his computer and a particularly tetchy bit of code to wrangle into submission.

Tony looks after the car, feeling himself shake. _Great goodbye, Tony,_ he tells himself, and angrily wipes at his eyes before the tears he can feel building up have a chance to escape.

* * *

The merger could not come sooner. For the first time in weeks Jarvis felt like something was going right as he looked out over the crowd gathered to celebrate the merger of Potts Enterprises and STARK Systems. He should feel happier, triumphant even. He'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

Which was the problem.

"If you strain yourself anymore everyone will assume I strongarmed you into this, rather than the other way around." Pepper was as magnificent and elegant as ever, and Jarvis found himself summoning a true smile.

"Pepper, my dear, I notice Harold isn't with you. Does this mean I finally have a chance to sweep you off your feet?"

"Oh please, Jarvis, I could see from across the room that you were pulling a face as if everybody present annoys you a little by breathing," Pepper replies smoothly, putting her arm through the blond's, "want to tell me what has you so pinched?"

"That's hardly an answer," Jarvis chides, but it's half hearted at best. Pepper could always see through a ruse, part of the reason she made an excellent CEO. "This isn't really the venue for such a discussion," he says instead.

"Right, I shall pull that tooth out of you later," Pepper smiles for the onlookers, patting Jarvis' shoulder, "on another note, have you heard anything from Tony the last few weeks? He's been strangely absent from any kind of event, I hope he's okay. It's not like him to not answer calls."

It's a good thing Jarvis had his poker face firmly in place. "No, I'm afraid I had to discontinue my meetings with him. I have had no cause to contact him since. I hope he is well," he wants to demand answers, make a few calls himself. But there is an image to maintain.

"I see," Pepper nods, keeping her expression even. Jarvis isn't the only one in possession of a poker face. "It's strange, him not being here, isn't it? Anyways, there's one of our Japanese investors, I'll leave you to it."

And she walks off, smoothly gliding through the crowd.

Jarvis pointedly does not stare after her. She's left him with a lot to think about, and an overwhelming amount of guilt to shoulder.

* * *

It had taken more energy than Jarvis would have thought possible to finally get even an inkling of how to reach Tony. After his attempts to call ended in voicemail, Tony’s phone in some way being too encrypted to track and subtle inquiries just left him more clueless he'd decided to resort to more... extreme methods. Normally they were not methods he would even have thought of using, but the other man's disappearance really did have him worried. However, without a last name, and only an occupation most people looked down upon to guide him, Jarvis was feeling desperate. Hell, even knowing what school Tony was attending, or even his major would have helped. There was nothing.

It took some more guessing but eventually he finds himself directed towards the Carbonell's apartment. There was a 'nice young man' there who fit his description. What everyone thought he was doing there he didn't want to hazard a guess. Though he's struck with another bout of nerves as he knocks on the door and waits.

The woman that opens is beautiful and radiating elegance, giving Jarvis a subtle appraising look. "Yes?" she asks, and when she smiles it's the same kind of smile Tony wears when on his best, charming behaviour.

"Umm Miz Carbonell?" Jarvis purposely slurs the title, and smiles his most innocent and charming smile. Something told him not to tell her anything. "Hi, I'm a friend of Tony's. Sorry to bother you, but he'd left something at my house the other week and I've been trying to return it. Is he around?"

"Of course," Maria doesn't hesitate to reply, opening the door more fully to let the other in, "come on in. What's your name?"

She takes Jarvis' arm, drawing the blond into the small but cosy appartment. "Anthony! C'è una visita per te! Un bello amico."

Anthony Carbonell. It fits the man. "Jarvis Thompson, thank you." He can see where Tony got his habits from. If he wasn't so bemused by being so unceremoniously manhandled he might have taken some time to examine his surroundings more closely.

And then that doesn't matter. Even weeks later the sight of Tony is enough to catch the breath in his throat. Tony is wearing a simple band shirt and jeans, and his expression visibly closes off when he catches sight of Jarvis.

"Non è affatto un mio amico," he says, looking at Maria, who immediately frowns back at him.

"Tony, è da maleducati parlare cosi!" she chides her son, and Tony lowers his head, "Tua dovresti aver imparato la lezione!"

"Scusa," Tony apologizes, and Maria huffs, absently patting Jarvis' arm before letting go of the blond. "Comportati bene!" she directs towards her son, and then leaves the room, Tony frowning after her.

And then directing the same frown at Jarvis.

In Jarvis' defense that glare would be enough to cause anyone to fidget. "Before you yell at me, it's Pepper's fault I'm here." The statement is unlikely to dispel the atmosphere settling between them. But no one could claim that Jarvis didn't try. "You weren't answering her calls or anyone else's." And no one knew how to find you.

"I'll-- go," he makes an aborted gesture back towards the door. Tony is alive, and looking well enough.

Tony crosses his arms in front of his chest, not easing up on the frown. "What do you think you're doing, exactly?" His voice is quiet enough, but Tony really _does_ want to yell at the other.

Maybe he'd feel better after.

"Making sure you're still alive," it sounds stupid when he says it aloud. Jarvis sighs. "I'm sorry, Pepper had me worried about you and-- I should have realised you were most likely busy with finals or something. I'll-- I'm going, don't worry." He was already edging towards the door, that glare making him want to melt into the carpet.

"Busy with finals? Very funny," Tony says, not sounding amused in the slightest, "since you're here already, I think I should get to yell at you a little. You've got a lot of nerve to show your face around here, tell my mother you're my friend and then realise that 'oh whoops I forgot I insulted you haha my bad'? I mean, really?!"

"I told your mother I was your 'friend' because I assumed you don't want her knowing the truth." Jarvis has never reacted well to being backed into a corner. But he still has enough control to take care with his words. "And considering your mother is in the next room and listening in, no doubt, you might want to yell at me somewhere else. And for the record telling you I no longer needed your 'help' wasn't an insult. Forgive me if I have my own secrets too."

Tony pulls his lips into a thin line, grabbing Jarvis' arm none-too-gently, and pulling the other out of the apartment, closing the door behind them with care. "Right, you can stop mincing your words now, tell me what exactly you think of me, go on."

"I was just worried, Tony," Jarvis retorts sharply. "But if you want something more incendiary then how about I don't understand why you're throwing a fit because I turned you down. This can't be the first time someone cancelled your services." Not everyone can survive a lover who is nothing but a lie.

Tony smiles, sharp and with a little too much teeth. "It was personal with you," he explains, "you decided to give me the break five seconds after I kissed you. And why would you care at all about me?"

The billionaire’s eyes are sharp as he stares at the other man. "It doesn't matter. We were never really friends to begin with, I just keep forgetting that. This was a mistake." Because like bloody hell he was going to explain why he turned away that night.

"Right," Tony wraps his arms around himself, feeling bitterness raising in his throat, "a mistake. You asked before how you insulted me?"

He fixates Jarvis' eyes, eyebrows knit together, his voice rising in volume. "It's how you kept - and keep - reducing me to money! That's all I am, aren't I? Some guy whose affections can be bought!"

"No, it's the opposite, Tony. Everything between us is because of the money. And if there is one thing I've learned about myself is that I can't do another empty relationship. Yes, we might have come to enjoy each other's company. But you can't tell me that if I suddenly lost my wealth tomorrow that you'd have any reason to keep talking to me."

"You--" Tony feels a headache coming on, putting his hand to his forehead, "--you could've given me a chance before deciding this _all by yourself!_ This isn't fair, and it isn't fair that you come after me to tell me that nothing about anything between us meant anything to you, or accuse me of feeling the same--" Oh no, _oh no,_ he feels his vision starting to swim, pressing his eyes closed.

That silences Jarvis. When he finds words again he know his voice sounds small, but nothing he tries can stop it. "It meant more than you can know. That's why I'm scared." Stupid, stupid saying this. Opening up like this.

"And me?" And Tony looks up, his eyes shining with yet-unshed tears. "You think I kissed you so I could write you a bigger bill? That's it, huh? You think of me as a greedy whore, don't, I'm, merda--" Then his voice breaks, and Tony presses his hand to his mouth before another embarrassing song makes it out, feeling like he'll break apart in a million pieces any moment.

Jarvis can only stand there mortified. "No, that's not--" but that was part of it wasn't it? He takes a deep breath. This was never something he had wanted to say aloud. "If we'd gone further I was afraid I would beg a commitment from you that-- that you couldn't risk giving me. Tony, I-- I can't force you to give up your job. I'm not completely ignorant. I know there's a reason you escort rich socialites to parties they don't want to go to. And Lord knows living in this city is expensive enough, never mind if you have other bills to pay. A normal job would barely give you enough to eat let alone live. I-- I'm afraid I'm selfish enough that if I-- if I fell for you any more I would have been asking you to give up your livelihood. And that's, that's not fair to ask of you." He's begging, pleading with Tony to understand. "I don't-- I never thought of you as a-- a whore," his voice breaks on that one word but he keeps his composure like a mantle. He should never have come here. "I'm an idiot, alright."

Tony can only nod, not trusting his voice to work for him at all, and turns away, walking the few steps back to the door of their apartment.

Jarvis doesn't fight, he doesn't have the right to even if he were inclined. He simply watches helplessly as Tony turns his back on him before turning away himself. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have intruded," he hesitates. Goodbye seems banal and hollow. "Good luck."

Gripping the doorknob, Tony takes a deep breath, listening to Jarvis’ steps disappear down the hallway, then opening and closing the door behind him quickly, feeling the sob tear itself physically from his throat.

“Tony?”

And then there is Maria, and Tony shakes his head at her. “Mamma…”

“Oh mio caro,” she answers, and wraps her son up in a hug, Tony burrowing his nose in her shoulder.

* * *

“Mamma, this isn’t working anymore.”

Maria blinks at her son, then frowns at the use of English in her house. “Che?”

Tony sighs, and fixates her evenly. “No, mamma. This isn’t working anymore. I’m-- I’m sorry, but I can’t-- pay for your credit card bills anymore.”

This pulls a reaction from the woman, a gasp, and she grasps Tony’s hands. “Tony…”

The dark-haired man grasps her hands in return, lifting them to put his lips to put his lips to the back of her hands.

“I’m sorry, mamma.”

He’s a little shocked to see, when Maria makes him look at her, lifting his chin, there are tears in her eyes. “No, tesoro - hai assolutamente ragione. You, you should never have had to do that in the first place. I’ll give you my cards. What shall we do?”

For a moment, Tony silently works his jaw, then he smiles at her, if a little sadly. “You’ll see, I’ll get a real job, and you’ll get help, yeah? Ti amo, mamma.”

Maria returns the smile, just as sadly. “Ti voglio tanto bene, mio eroe.”

* * *

“You know, you technically don’t have the qualifications to apply to this internship,” the woman tells him, raising her eyebrows at Tony’s wince, and the dark-haired man smiles at her.

“No, I know. But please, I’ll owe you so much, just let me be smuggled in? It won’t hurt anyone. I don’t have the diplomas, but maybe, maybe I still can do something good?”

He ends up bribing her with a coffee, but it works.

A small bit of lying, some smart forgery, and Tony finds himself in a small group of elected candidates for an internship at Pott’s and Thompson’s enterprise, thanks to him showing off the blueprints of his self-built roomba (which he called “Dum-e” in a fit of genius) and the fact that he managed to build some circuits in record time.

Tony felt great. Until the woman that led them around announced that the second-in-command and head of the R&D department will invite them to dinner - which didn’t shock Tony, until the name Jarvis Thompson dropped.

He starts to panic maybe a little. “Oh, wow, look at the time, I really need to g--”

In his haste to leave the company’s cafeteria, Tony forgets to look where he’s walking, and walks straight into someone’s chest. Jarvis' chest, as a quick glance confirms.

Inconveniently, Tony completely forgets how vocal chords are supposed to work, and just kind of works his jaw in silence instead. His brain, unhelpfully, only offers up more panic. _Oh no. He’ll know I’m lying. I shouldn’t be here--_

One would think that by now Jarvis would have learned to not walk about the building with his face in a tablet or phone. But there was so much to do. He thinks he can be forgiven for running over an intern. "Ah, forgive me, I wasn't paying attention," he's already turning on his polite social smile, prepared to turn up the charm to soothe over any ruffled feathers.

Only for it to die away in shock. This was not a face he had expected to see anytime soon. "Tony? What--" Oh, _oh_. "You're one of the new interns?"

"I-- I-- you don't know me!" Oh god, this makes no sense, and Tony feels slightly hysterical, reaching up to put his hand to his forehead. "S-sorry, I mean, excuse me, I'm gonna--" And Tony darts to the side, walking past Jarvis, heart in his throat.

"Wai--" But Tony's already gone and then one of the general managers is stepping out of the cafeteria as well and Jarvis is swept away into the tide of business. The encounter stays with him though, always at the back of his mind.

He smiles that same social smile that so many call charming as he faces the room full of interns (well, not full per se, there were only about ten in total). And he doesn't even know he's searching the room for a familiar face until he starts speaking. "First I would like to offer a very tardy welcome to Potts and Thompson Enterprise. I have the sad fate of being the Thompson in that pretty little title there," he smiles wider to the soft chuckles around the room. "It's customary to show our appreciation to the peons slaving away down below," another arch smile.

"So tonight I will be taking you all out to dinner. And yes, that includes drinks. Just be sure not to bankrupt me. Your boss may not like hearing that I can't pay her tomorrow morning," he winks at the group as they laugh again and offers a nod to the supervisor. "And now I'm afraid I have to go out and make that money you'll all be spending tonight, good day and I hope to see you all tonight."

Tony didn't want to go. Or at least, he told himself that, but in the end, he let two of the girls convince him easily enough, and somehow "hey, let's get drunk on the Boss' tab" sounds like a super idea at the time.

Only, it ends up with Tony being rather smashed when Jarvis turns up, having had other interns challenge him for tequila shots.

"Hey, J'rvis," he slurs when he bumps into the other, smiling rather unfocusedly, "how're you? 'm a little drunk."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to know you," Jarvis doesn't even try to hide the laughter in his voice as he steadies the other man. A quick glance around shows that the majority of the other interns are in the same boat, a first. Usually they wait until after he left to get deep into their cups. Admittedly this time he had been delayed by work.

"Oh, riiight. That was silly, though." As soon as Jarvis starts steadying him, Tony leans all the more on the other, making a content sound.

"Missed you, Jay."

If Jarvis weren't so worried for how Tony's fellow Interns might react to the sight of one their colleagues leaning against their boss while completely pissed, he might actually have found this much more amusing. But considering how difficult it was to get an internship with his company, Jarvis really didn't want speculation to ruin the other man's chances.

Unfortunately telling himself that, and acting on it were two entirely different things. He flags over a waitress, politely asking for a separate booth, the intention being that he could deposit Tony there until he came a bit more to his senses. He pats Tony's shoulder. "Well, while I'm glad you've recovered your memory, you might want to regain your balance as well. Here, sit here for a bit and drink this glass of water, it will help. I need to go greet your coworkers, but I'll be right back."

"My balance is fine," Tony protests weakly, attempting to walk by himself to prove it, almost faceplanting into the table. Luckily Jarvis is there to maneuver him into the booth, Tony smiling up at the blond.

"Thanks," he says, drinking the glass like he's being told, "hey, Jarvisss, sorry I'm drunk. No kissing when drunk, not very... romantic."

He nods at the billionaire, but still looking a little lost when Jarvis walks off, contemplating the empty glass in front of him. "Scusi, can I get a, uh, refill?"

The waitress almost laughs at him, but Tony is too smashed to really notice, just smiling back at her when she puts a new glass of water in front of him.

Thanks to copious amounts of tequila the majority of the assembled intend would be returning to work on Monday completely mortified. Jarvis, on the other hand, had something much more important to attend to, so he was happy to leave them to their cups, turning up the charm just enough that their fears were tempered. When he returned the waitress was just refilling the glass. He thanks her with a smile as he settles into the seat across from the other man.

"Much as I honestly wouldn't mind a kiss from you, I'm afraid at this stage it would be unseemly for an intern to be seen kissing his boss. Ethics and all that." Although he had a feeling Pepper would actively encourage it. "I admit, I don't understand why you're smiling at me. I was fairly terrible to you."

"You should mind when I'm drunk, though," Tony points out, pulling a brief frown at the other. "Yeah, well. But I like you, so."

Another sip of water, and Tony sighs, waving his hand around vaguely. "I'd have hugged you but 'm a drunk intern, right, fingers off th' boss. In public. Hey, Jarvis, d'you have a couch?"

"It's more the opposite. The Boss can't go around being handsy with drunk interns. There are laws and seminars about all of that." And he didn't want something he knew Tony'd had to work hard for smirched with the sort of allegations close association with him could bring.

"Oh. Right. But you're not dangerous, people know this, don't they? I can tell 'em that you're cool if you want."

"Thank you. And for your other question, yes, I have a couch," he says patiently. "Two of them, in fact, and a guest room if that's what you were leading to."

Tony smiles a sheepish smile. "Can I? Stay over? Better than-- worrying mamma 'cause I get home drunk."

He stifles a sigh. When would ever be able to deny Tony. Even a kiss. "Yes, you may. Though I do hope that staying in my guest room also means you'll give your mum a text before we go. Although I suppose I'm starting the obvious. Do you want me to send it for you? "

"Of course," Tony nods, and then looks at the billionaire critically, the way he pulls his brows together not that impressive with the way he sways a little in his seat, "maybe, if-- if you can write it in Italian?"

"I'm fluent enough, yes. I'll just claim you're staying overnight at a friends. Sounds generic enough," he's already palmed Tony's phone and scrolling through the contacts until he finds what he needs.

"You're my friend, Jarvis, aren't you?" Tony looks at the other, his eyes big and pleading. "I know you said-- you said-- things, but we're friends, right?"

Something warm flutters in Jarvis’ chest at the question. "Yes, we're friends. Those accusations were said in bitterness and anger on both our parts." He doesn't apologise again. That is a discussion for when both parties are completely sober.

The billionaire wishes he had the time to linger over the clever alterations to the Potts Phone. But his curiosity could wait. "Come on, Sam is waiting for us outside."

Tony accepts the phone and nods, letting himself being led outside for a change. "Sam! Hey, Sam," he greets, all smiles, "I've never told ya, Sam, but you're pretty cool. Brillante, you know?"

And he drops his head on Jarvis' shoulder.

Sam's laughing, Jarvis can see her looking at him I'm the rearview mirror, and he shrugs. "Dont look at me, I found him like this."

"I found you," Tony mumbles, making it sound like a vague protest, not moving his head from Jarvis' shoulder. It feels comfortable and he's so... tired...

When Tony blinks awake again, the car has stopped, and he lets Jarvis pull him out of the car with no resistance. "Hey, Jarvis," he says, not really sure where he's going with this, "you're being really nice to me again. 'S awesome, keep doing it."

And then the dark-haired man tilts his head to smile up at Jarvis again.

"Of course I'm being nice to you, we just established we're friends." The guilt is back, but he doesn't try to push it away.

The elevator opens on his modest penthouse, if any such abode can be considered modest. "Here, give me a moment to get you a glass of water." He pats Tony's shoulder and heads towards what serves as the kitchen.

"Another one?" Tony asks, tilting his head at the other's retreating form, "I'll have to get up five times for the toilet at this rate."

"This one is for Tylenol," Jarvis says simply.

Then Jarvis is gone - and Tony really doesn't feel up to the challenge to navigate a place he doesn't know, when things are not staying in place the way they should, but turning in circles. Instead, the dark-haired man turns towards the nearest door which is half-open, and discovers a bedroom behind it.

Feeling this is a definite success, Tony walks into the room and sits on the bed, slowly undoing the buttons before lying down, yawning, silently deciding he'll definitely be awake by the time Jarvis returns...

When Jarvis returns with another glass of water, it is to find the space where Tony should be empty. The sitting room is empty, and a glance into the guest rooms and office turn up the same. And thankfully he doesn't see Tony bent over the loo, so that's a blessing.

Which leaves one room left. He pushes the door to his bedroom open and has to shake his head when he sees the lump on his bed. He sets the glass on the nightstand with the painkillers. And then takes off the other man's shoes to make him more comfortable before leaving to find a bed for himself.

* * *

The first thing Tony notices is pain behind his forehead, and then there's a noise - that must've been what woke him up, right? With some difficulty, the dark-haired man pries his eyes open, not recognizing where he is in the slightest, but there's the sound again - hold on, are those steps?

Tony raises quickly, misjudges the distance between himself and the end of the bed, falling on the floor with a low sound, luckily cushioned by a carpet.

But his headache only gets worse, and so he squeezes his eyes closed again, both hands covering them. "Ohi, merda!"

Jarvis really had tried to be as quiet as possible while retrieving clothes. But apparently all his care was for naught when he heard a loud thump behind him and turns to see Tony curled on the floor. He is across the room in a second, kneeling down next to the other man, uncaring of the fact that except for a pair of boxers he was basically naked, and pulling him up with gentle hands.

He keeps his voice low and soft, whisper soft. "Hey, are you alright? Come on, let's get you back up on the bed."

"Dio mio," Tony whimpers, and inevitably blushes when he lowers his hands to look at Jarvis, "I'm so sorry, I was so drunk, I remember absolutely nothing, it must've been awful, why're you even talking to me anymore--"

"You were very pissed, yeah," Jarvis helps Tony settle back on the bed, grateful that he knew his room well enough he'd been able to keep the lights lowered. "Here, takes these and sip on the water, it will help. I'll get some coffee brewing for you after I dress." He hands the pills and glass of water over.

Tony winces, this time not because of his headache, numbly accepting both painkillers and water. "Thanks," he mumbles, keeping his head otherwise lowered, and feeling shame curl its way into his belly, Jarvis staying just long enough to make certain that Tony takes his medicine before standing with his gathered clothes and leaving the other to the quiet he desperately needed at this time.

When he leaves the room, Tony feels ill, and - again - it's got nothing to do with light sensitivity or his headache.

Thank goodness Felicia insists on Jarvis keeping a stock of coffee available. It's a simple matter to set up the machine and a cup is nearly finished when Tony enters the living area. Unfortunately there was little he could do about the light. They were far enough up that there was little need for heavy blinds to protect his privacy, and since he had an inordinate fondness for natural sunlight, there were only sheer curtains over the large windows.

He winces in sympathy when Tony steps into the room looking ill. "Here," he sets the cup down on the bar that separates the kitchen from the living space. "I hope the caffeine helps."

"Jarvis," Tony's voice sounds a little hoarse, and he's just a bit terrified of what's to come, looking down at his cup before taking a deep breath and looking at the blond again. "Thanks, but I-- I mean, we should probably talk about this."

Well that didn't bode well. Jarvis sighs and turns away to grab the cup of tea waiting for him. "Am I to assume that you've decided to rescind your drunken ramblings about being friends," he knows he must sound resigned. But until forgiveness had been offered he hadn't realized how much he wanted this.

"How can you want to be friends with me after I-- okay, to be honest I'm not sure what I did, but it can't have been very good. I was too drunk for that, and I mean, you seem pretty okay, but I, are you okay?"

The billionaire is beginning to have a sneaking suspicion about what Tony was talking about. "Oh dear lord in heaven," he sighs and hides his face in his hands. "I carried you home, left you for a second in the doorway to go get you paracetamol, and came back to find you'd stolen my bed. That was all. I slept in the other room," something else comes to him. Right, he'd been practically naked. "And before you ask you have nothing to do with how I was dressed, that's how I sleep."

"Ah-- oh. Good." Tony smiles a little sheepishly. "So, I didn't drunkenly ravage you?"

"No, you didn't even touch me," his lips twist up in a rueful smile. "I did take off your shoes if you want to categorise that as ravishing."

"Well, if we did define it like that I'd almost want to say thanks for ravishing me, then. Jarvis, I really wouldn't want to be drunk while getting it on with you." Uh-oh, maybe that was a bit too much Information. Quickly, Tony raises his cup of coffee to hide behind, starting to sip on it.

"Drunken sex is very rarely pleasant, especially when one party is completely sober. So you won't hear any complaints from me."

"Ahaha... I'm sorry I got so smashed, Jarvis. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I was, it was a bit, strange to suddenly see you again like this."

Tony taps at his empty cup, looking at Jarvis from under his lashes. "Should I go before you start feeling awkward or am I getting breakfast?"

"I would be happy to offer you breakfast, if I could actually cook and not risk burning the eggs.  Something tells me that yogurt wouldn't be of much help right now," hmm, what is in his fridge. He knew he kept it decently stocked, and would eat whatever was in there. But there was a reason he hadn't invested in the sort of giant fridge that was the norm this side of the pond. "Or cereal, I have some cereal."

Tony smiles, and stands up. "What have you got? Maybe I can make something. Eggs, bacon, toast?"

Jarvis freezes a moment, because he knows he has milk and yogurt but... and then goes to too look. Bless Felicia, of course she'd have stocked his fridge again. "The answer is yes, apparently I do," his surprise is clear.

"Alright, let's do it, give me all of that, how do you like your eggs, where's the toaster?" Tony, immediately zeroing in on the task at hand, finds the pans very quickly and puts two on the stove.

"Do you like that strange thing where you eat beans on toast? Though I've got to say, that meal is kind of offensive to my sensibilities."

The billionaire watches Tony take over his kitchen in bemused silence, shaking his head when asked how he likes his eggs. "Prepare them however you want, it's rare enough that I have a breakfast like this. As for the beans, I know I don't have a can of them anywhere so you don't have to worry."

Tony smiles at the other and gets to work, and soon the kitchen is filled with the smells of freshly toasted bread and cooked bacon.

"I'll admit, this feels a little domestic, don't you think?" He says, putting a dish in front of Jarvis, and then sitting down with his own on the opposite side of the table. "Buon appetito!"

Jarvis stares down at the plate in bemusement for a moment before picking up a piece of bacon and taking a bite. It was good, and his surprise must have shown.

"Domestic, that's not a bad thing. We've known each other long enough."

"Yes, maybe," Tony says between two bites of toast, smirking a little, "but usually the rolling in the hay comes before the domestics,"

"Well, you did sleep in my bed. And you've seen me, nearly, naked. That has to count for something."

"True," Tony muses, "I suppose it does count. A little. Not enough to justify going domestic in your kitchen, though. You'd have to step up your game for that."

"There were extenuating circumstances, you have to admit."

"Extenuating circumstances to excuse your lack of game, you mean? _Oh._ "

Yeah, Tony can think of a few, bowing his head to his plate. Being an escort. Then being an intern at Jarvis' firm. "Alright, I uh-- can see that. Ahem."

Jarvis takes another bite of his food-- and really, how did he get eggs to taste like this?-- and grins up at the other. "Yes, to excuse my lack of game." _Not that you would have been blown away by me on a normal day anyways, but that's not something I'm about to share._

"Yeah, I'm-- sorry, I really shouldn't come onto you like this." Tony waves around his fork, not really looking at Jarvis. "I mean, I'm the small intern here, so that's probably inappropriate."

"Very inappropriate. There are entire seminars about it, I know, I've been forced to sit through them." He sobers. "Also I don't want everyone to think you've gotten where you are because the boss is playing favorites. It wouldn't be fair to you. Especially after how I treated you in the past."

"I'm not sure that argument holds, seeing as we're currently all by our lonesomes in your kitchen," Tony replies, trying not to make it sound like the sullen complaint it is.

_Couldn't have you because I was an escort, can't have you because I work for you now._

He still kind of wants to kiss the blond. Surprising drunk him didn't try, really.

"That is a very good point. Absolutely no one else from the firm knows you're here. Unless you count Sam, and possibly Pepper. But Sam is completely loyal and mother hens, and Pepper-- was very likely plotting this all along."

"You know," Tony says, finishing his breakfast casually, "that sounds like you mean to go somewhere with what you're saying. What's your point? And I'd ask why Pepper would be plotting this but I'm not sure I really want to know."

"Ah." Jarvis hadn't thought when he said that. "I don't think I even want to know what she's planning. And--" what was the right thing to say. "I don't know."

"Out of curiosity," and Tony pauses, giving himself a second of doubt, _are you sure you want to say this?_ Before he's got a real response, his mouth is already working to get the words out. "What would happen if I'd walk around this table and kissed you?"

"I--" his brain fizzles. What would he do? "Ah, I-- don't... know? Certainly nothing-- nothing as bad as what happened before."

 **  
** "Sounds promising," _what am I doing I can't flirt with Jarvis this is such a bad idea,_ "would you like me to do that?" Tony puts his chin on his hands, giving the other a faux-innocent look.

 

 _How am I supposed to answer a question like that?_ "I-- I would but-- there are--" Think. Words, I know I have them. But in truth they did fail him and he could only sit there looking completely flummoxed by such a tiny query.

In response, Tony smiles. "You can try finishing that phrase while I put the plates away," he says, voice low and undeniably in flirt mode.

He gets up then, stacking his own plate on top of Jarvis' own, then moves to put them into the sink.

"... I don't think you want me to. It's all arguments along the same vein as before. Boss, employee, the terrible way I treated you before." So many reasons he could concoct. And each one more hollow than the last, crumbling under the weight of logic and cunning. "So yes, you don’t want me to finish that sentence."

Tony hums noncommittally, turning away from the sink to step beside Jarvis' chair. "You're aware that means nothing's stopping me, right? I'm still a hedonist, you know--"

And he leans down to press his lips to Jarvis'.

This time Jarvis does not pull away. If anything he leans closer. This, this was something he had wanted for so long; it was unbelievable that it was being allowed.

When they pull apart he summons as smirk, saying only one word. "Hedonist."

"Guilty as charged," Tony mumbles in return, unable not to smile, and then drops into a crouch before Jarvis, taking one of the billionaire's hands  in his, worrying his lower lip.

"I'm-- I lied."

"That is not something I want to hear after being kissed like that." Jarvis tries to keep his voice light and teasing but there is real worry beneath the cheer.

Tony swallows, looking down at his feet. "The-- the internship, I never had the qualifications for that, I, I bribed people, lied on a couple forms, uh, maybe forged a couple documents to get into the program, They should never have let me walk through the main door, but, well, I guess they don't expect people to cheat for an internship, right?"

Tony can't look at Jarvis. "So I never should've gotten to see the R&D department or any of that, but it was still really cool, and I just wanted, I wanted to do something-- I just want a real job, Jarvis, I'm sorry." He lets go of the billionaire's Hand in favour of wiping at his eyes, _don't cry don't cry this is pathetic._

There was no way Jarvis could tell Tony that he didn't care about that. It would only make light of something that was very obviously an important issue to the other man. Instead he listens, and starts to understand.

"You never graduated college. If you weren't--" _Oh_. People did a lot of stupid things for family, Jarvis could almost admire that. "Right," he draws a hand down his face and pins Tony with a look.

"I'm not going to ask why. It's not my place, if you ever want to tell me I will listen, though. And, this is certainly playing favorites, but if you want to stay in the program I won't tell anyone what you just told me.

"But, if you want, I could help you find a way to earn your degree. I saw those schematics you submitted, with those, you could easily earn a scholarship to a university of your choosing."

"Yeah, I'm not sorry you're playing favorites," Tony says, laughing a little - and then his eyes go wide. "Really? You think I could--?"

But then he frowns, worrying his lower lip, sitting sideways on the nearest chair, facing Jarvis. "But even if I did have a scholarship, I wouldn't have an income... I'd have to breeze through really quickly..." The rent doesn't pay itself, and Tony's not sure he has enough to last him and Maria for a year, nevermind two.

"Scholarships aren't just for tuition. Get one large enough plus a couple grants and you'll have extra. And there are more than enough paying internships available to students as well. And, if you get a particularly brilliant idea, you could always sell a patent. How do you think I made my way through Uni? I sold a couple simple prisms and a decent virus checker."

Tony works his mouth open and closed again. "That-- that sounds really good, actually." He's a little flabbergasted. "You make it sound easy, Jarvis."

"Well, not easy. It'll be a lot of work. But it doesn't have to be as difficult as you're making it."

"And you think I could go anywhere?" Tony's excitement is almost childlike, because yes, this is something he wanted when he was still a kid, and to imagine that now he could--

"Yeah, yeah, I want to do that, I mean, maybe I can escort Pepper on Fridays or something too, just, if it becomes necessary, right? You think I could go anywhere, right? You said a university of my choosing--"

"Yes, I think you could. I've seen your work," he had looked into it right after seeing Tony outside the cafeteria. "Submit that as part of your portfolio, add in that no doubt ridiculously high IQ score of yours, and they'll be begging you to attend their engineering programs." His lips turn up more. "You sound like you have an idea already."

"I always wanted to go to MIT," Tony admits, and blushes a little, reaching up to scratch at his head, "I know, considering, I didn't get all that far in that aspect..."

"That's a worthy dream. It's a fun place, I have to admit," and it meant a lot to be allowed to learn more about the other man. "I think I've learned more about you in the past two hours than I did in all the months we attended boring parties together."

"Really?" Here Jarvis gets a raised eyebrow in reply. "What did you learn in the last two hours? Apart from my academic failures, which is not really something I tend to, you know, talk about."

"Well, I can expand that to yesterday, but we won't count last night." His fingers tap against the countertop. "Before, I could never tell what was part of the act for everyone else, and what was genuine. I knew-- I knew that you liked me, that you weren't just tolerating my company, but now... now I believe you do care."

"Oh man, did I say anything embarrassing yesterday?" Tony sighs, but he's also smiling. "You believe I care. Jarvis, this is silly, you just--" A brief shake of the head, and Tony is leaning towards Jarvis again. "And here I thought I was being obvious."

"Did I ever claim to be anything but oblivious?" Jarvis smirks at the sigh, chuckling at everything that has happened. "Only that you missed me and how silly it was that you tried to claim we didn't know each other. And of course there was the 'I can't kiss you while I'm this drunk' but that was more cute than embarrassing."

"Ah. Well, that could've been worse," Tony nods, and then smiles at Jarvis. "Let me make my stance on this clear - I'd like to make you my boyfriend, Jarvis. Introducing you to my mamma might be a little, uh, awkward, but I'd like to kiss you more."

His smile spreads slowly across his face, widening as giddy warmth sweeps through him. "Meeting your mother again, oh dear. Should I be scared? Speak only in Italian when addressing her?"

And then he tosses aside the attempt at teasing, swallowing hard even as the smile still never leaves. "That sounds-- it sounds... nice. I can guarantee you'll be disappointed with having me as a boyfriend, but I won't lie and say it's not something I've wanted as well."

"Blah blah blah lack of self-confidence?" Tony quirks his lips, framing Jarvis face with his hands, and meeting the billionaire's blue eyes. "As for my mamma, you should maybe be a little scared, but I can't tell you what will happen, we'll have to see - and now tell me, how could you as a boyfriend possibly disappoint me?"

"A healthy dose of self-confidence mixed liberally with past experiences. But suffice to say that when it comes to a personal life, I have been informed that I am boring. Another label would be frigid. Make of that what you will."

"You think you're bad in bed?" Tony's eyebrows raise so high on his forehead it looks like they're making a real effort to touch his hairline.

"You had lovers tell you you're boring? Che cavolo, porca vacca!" Tony huffs, shaking his head energetically. "Heathens! Blasphemy! There's always two to tango, Jarvis, and I'm not gonna let you keep thinking that you somehow can't do sex, because it's ridiculous and your exes are stupid, no offense."

And then the dark-haired man smiles a little sheepishly, letting go of Jarvis' face. "I mean, I'm gonna disprove that theory. Someday. If you agree. I, uh, maybe got a little carried away there."

"Not just in bed, Tony. They expect the person they see at the parties and functions in the privacy of home as well as the public," his lips twist, just a little bitter. "I'm apparently a very good actor."

He won't list them. Has no desire to rehash them now anyways. "You're going to disprove them huh? I have no idea how to argue against that level of conviction."

"What's the only way in which you can call someone boring? If you don't know them. I don't believe that anyone is boring, least of all when you're in love, it doesn't matter whether you spend all your free time with your nose in a book or whatever stereotype for boring people you can think of--"

Tony fixes Jarvis, needing the other to understand. "You shouldn't argue this with me. But it's okay if you're not convinced yet, I'm gonna make you see."

"It's very hard to see oneself, a mirror only shows you what you think is there," Jarvis laughs. Look at him, turning all poetic. "It was often computers. But books when I wanted to escape the numbers. I'm not the socialite most of them wanted. A common occurrence really. Though not all my days were horrid. Just... shallow," hollow and unsatisfying.

Tony gives an easy shrug. "I'm enough socialite for three. Besides, didn't I spend a lot of time standing between you and the party? Of all people, I should know you're not one to spend his time wooing anyone."

Huffing a deep breath, Tony gets up from his chair, pulling Jarvis' chair a little back from the table and then climbing on the other's lap to hug Jarvis as tightly as he can. "Two to tango, and your tango isn't half-bad," he murmurs, "I've seen it."

That pulls another laugh from Jarvis. "Alright. I won’t let my insecurity stop me from agreeing to dating you." His hands have come up to rest along the other man's waist, the warmth of his skin dosing through the rumpled shirt. "Mmm, I did pay you handsomely to keep the wolves at bay. I almost shudder to think what havoc you could wreck against them on your own."

That comment has Tony snort. "I will take that as a compliment, yeah? And that’s good," he smiles, nuzzling Jarvis' neck. "Not that I'd let you run off now anyways. I can be pretty clingy, you know?"

"Well that is reassuring," Jarvis rolls his eyes but tilts his head to give Tony better access. "Take it as the compliment it is, my dear. Such things are few and far between. Everyone knows how cynical and cold I am, no?"

"That's all lies," Tony promises and leans away again, petting Jarvis' head. "You compliment me all the time, you cold and cynical bastard, you just do it in a way that makes those compliments sound a little like insults."

"It shows I care," he smirks and leans into the touch.

"Which is okay, because I insult-compliment you right back, darling."

"Why do you think I didn't stop after that first night," a thought has him chuckling. "Tell me, how much did I live up to that first impression I gave you?"

That has Tony's eyebrow swing up. "Uh, that depends what first Impression we're talking about exactly, because there were a couple."

_And none of them exactly positive._

"Hmm, now you have me curious. How boring did you expect me to be, precisely? I suspect you must have had the impression that the night would be as interesting as starting at a blank wall. Honestly, I was surprised that you agreed to more... appointments? Or would a better word be dates. I never could decide."

"Dates. Definitely dates." Tony bites his tongue before he does something stupid like compare himself to a sex worker, and looks away. "Well. I decided a while before we met that I couldn't stand you, actually. And then you made the impression of being-- more focussed on being on time rather than having any kind of fun, ever, at all, and I thought, well, I was kind of surprised that you were actually really cute. And the way you looked at me when you first saw me..."

Tony smiles, voice taking on a teasing lilt. "It was a compliment in and by itself. Though of course that was pretty superficial of you, Jay. It's like you didn't care at all about all my inner worth."

Jarvis ignores the last part. "You'd decided you didn't like me before we met?" He couldn't define what to think about that. "Is my reputation that terrible?" He blinks. "Then why accept my offer the first time?"

"Well, I..." It doesn't happen often, but here it is: Tony is flustered, enough so he is kind of considering casually sliding off of Jarvis' lap and under the table. "Of course your reputation is spotless, Jarvis, don't be silly."

Jarvis just fixes Tony with a look. "Alright, you don't have to tell me, I won't push. Though I won't deny that I'm not curious. Although in your defense I do a very good job of acting the rich prat when the occasion calls for it."

"I'm-- I can't sit on your lap while talking about this, I can't hide here," Tony gives a sheepish smile, then slides off of the billionaire's lap, sitting down in the chair at the other's side. "Alright, so, it's not really that much of a story, but Pepper talked about you and you were that much of a success and she obviously liked you and I was-- a nobody with a pretty face, and terribly jealous."

Tony blushes bright red. "And that's... petty and idiotic, so, I could've lived with you not knowing that part of me."

Jarvis blinks. "Oh, that-- Well honestly, that makes sense. I guess I should share something petty and stupid in return. While we were 'dating' I often felt ashamed by the fact that apparently the only way I could get a man to be even remotely interested in me was with a check. Makes one doubt their own flirtation skills."

"Oh, Jarvis..." A brief worrying of his lower lip, then Tony raises his head to meet the billionaire's gaze again. "That's just you and your low self-confidence speaking again, I don't really see how it's supposed to be petty and idiotic. Guess it would be pretty hard to tell when I am not just pretending to like someone for most."

"We're both very good actors, I think."

"I didn't have to pretend a lot with you."

That brings out a slow smile from Jarvis’ part. "I'm glad," it certainly made him feel more confident about anything between them.

Tony responds to the smile in kind. "Yeah? Tell me what you're using your acting skills for. Apart from letting me think you're not interested and pretending to be a grump, I mean."

"Well, there is the part where I act like I've always had money. Thankfully most yanks can't tell the difference between the Queen's English and what's used in the suburbs so they don’t manage to catch when I slip," he grins cheekily at the last. "In my defense, by the time we started 'dating' I was nearly burned out. Why do you think Pepper suggested I call you?"

Tony can't help but pull his eyebrows together at that, the concern obvious in his expression. "But now you're better?"

"Believe it or not, having you do the bulk of the 'heavy lifting,' so to speak, helped more than you can guess with the stress. So yes, I'd say I'm better now."

"Heavy lifting?" Tony has to laugh, shaking his head. "That sounds like I carried you around those events. But seriously-- I'm glad I could help, I guess."

A smile, then Tony tilts his head. "What do you think, should I still... stay in the internship program?"

That gives Jarvis pause. "That is entirely up to you. Technically you qualify, since they approved your application. In reality, a degree would go a long way towards helping you advance," this was never a problem he'd had to deal with personally before. "Of course, you could keep the internship and go to school at the same time, or rather, you'd be switched to a different program."

"Hm. Well, it sounds complicated, I guess I'll sleep on it. Speaking of-- I know I'm a big boy and supposed to deal with that kind of stuff myself," a sheepish smile, and Tony gives a little shrug, "but-- would you maybe help me with the scholarship?"

"If you wish," Jarvis smiles. "I think I can remember a few of the tricks I used before."

"Tricks? Did you do something illegal to become rich?" Tony curls his lips into an amused smirk, obviously teasing.

"Hardly," Jarvis drawls back. "One simply learns how to weather the waters of academic scholarships and the many many character essays they require. And if I did do something illegal, which may have happened when I was desperate and stuck eating nothing but instant ramen, I have more than made up for it with new and improved marketable firewalls."

"I can't imagine you stuck eating nothing but instant ramen," Tony tilts his head at the other, smiling. "Guess I'll have to admit you're a good actor now."

"Did I never mention that I was born to working class parents? My father was more white collar by the time I was in college, true, but not like they could always send me money to eat take away every night. I've mentioned I'm a terrible cook, that is not a lie."

"I know, you just offered me cereal," Tony replies, clearly amused by this as well, and then pulls his phone out of his pocket, worrying his lower lips. "Uh, I guess it's time for me to go home. Lunch time is kinda my curfew." He looks at the billionaire, hesitating.

"I'll have you know that I have very good cereal stocked." Jarvis smiles and tilts his head. "I wouldn't want to get you in trouble," and he leans forward to presses a kiss to the corner of Tony's lips.

_How sweet._ Tony could just leave it at that, really. Or-- and, decision made, he takes advantage to catch Jarvis' lips properly, bringing a hint of tongue to the kiss before he draws away, making to stand.

"Alright, okay, I-- call me?"

Jarvis simply nods as he watches Tony leave. And only after the sounds of the door closing reverberates through the penthouse does he lift the tips of his fingers to his lips. They still tingle from the kiss and he shares a secret, giddy smile to the empty room.

* * *

_"Mister Carbonell."_

"I've told you it gives me hives when you call me that, Sol."

But as usual, the AI doesn't respond, and Tony heaves a sigh in the general direction of where he knows the camera is, walking through the door into the penthouse.

"Where's Jarvis?"

_"In his workshop."_

"Oh, cool." Tony knows the way - it's not that hard, really, once you know where the door is hidden - and arrives in front of the lab door shortly thereafter, throwing a questioning glance up at another of the cameras when the door stays firmly closed. "Come on now, I've got enough street cred to be allowed in there by now, right?"

SOLACE doesn't reply, and Tony frowns. "Sol, can you let me in?"

_"I can,"_ comes the response this time, _"but it is not up to me to decide to give you access to this area."_

"Right." Another sigh. Someday, Tony vows to himself, SOLACE will be able to appreciate his incredible charms. "So you mean to make me knock on the glass like a caveman?"

No response again. Tony likes to imagine that this time, the silence is at least vaguely amused, but he wouldn't bet on it.

"Please tell Jarvis I'm here?"

Jarvis is so engrossed in his work that Sol's steady voice echoing through the workshop has his jumping. _"Sir, Mr. Carbonell wishes me to inform you that he is waiting at the door."_

"Did I never give you permission to let him down here?"

_"I am afraid not, sir."_ The AI takes that statement as the permission it is and the glass doors slide open to admit the other man. Jarvis stands, a smile instantly spreading over his face. "Tony! I'm sorry, I must not have been paying attention to the time."

"Hi," Tony doesn't waste time, crossing the space between them quickly and pressing a welcome kiss on Jarvis' lips, then putting his head on the blond's shoulder to look at what the other has been working on.

"I was thinking I'd have to argue some more to be allowed in here, what's this for?" He lifts a small circuit board up, stepping back to show it, and throwing Jarvis a questioning glance, then putting it down again. "And also, why does your AI not like me? I've never met a woman so hard to charm, I swear."

"Working on a phone battery that will last for six months without recharging this time around. Concerning SOLACE, if she didn't like you, she wouldn't talk to you. She just likes rules, I'm afraid. And I may have forgotten to tell her you're allowed down here without me having to open the door for you." He curls his arms around Tony and grins wider.

"That sounds awesome, I want one.” Tony smiles back, then raises an eyebrow. “Really? Are you sure? I always get that sense of disapproval whenever she speaks. Or doesn't speak. She does _not talk_ to me pretty often."

Tony responds to the hug in kind, taking a moment to lean against Jarvis and close his eyes as he does, allowing himself to relax. "I meant to thank you for the scholarship help. I got a letter the other day, and you gotta admit that is unnaturally quick, I suspect you had your say in that somehow. Or maybe bribed someone. Which I'd approve of."

"Bribing... no. You have to admit, when a billionaire genius gives out a letter of recommendation that tends to grab people's attention." He glances up at the ceiling briefly. "Trust me, the fact that she even bothers talking to you says a lot. I think the only other person she speaks to as much is Pepper, but then, that's because she's Pepper."

"Less exciting, but thanks anyways," Tony replies, smiling, and then looks around for a camera, finally shrugging and just opting to look at the ceiling. "And I like you too, Sol. I know you'll ignore that. By the way, Jarvis--"

A brief pause, and Tony fixates Jarvis, worrying his lower lip slightly. "Uh, how mortified would you be if I asked you politely to talk about your sex life?"

"..." That was certainly not something Jarvis was expecting to hear. "Moderately mortified, but then again, we are attempting a relationship here. Past history is a bit unavoidable."

Jarvis pulls back and motions to the couch in the corner. "I'd prefer we do this while sitting down, if only for my own sake," even so, he remains silent for some time after settling down and trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. It's not easy, he realizes, to start. Tony, maybe sensing Jarvis’ discomfort, snuggles close as if to silently encourage the other.

"Alright, perhaps I should start with the first one. I was seventeen, and had been dating an older boy for... three months. My first time we'd been at a party, no, I wasn't completely drunk if that's what you're thinking, but I was fairly tipsy. And... well, he'd been pressuring me already for some weeks and that night I just..." He shrugs. "I decided to give in. Honestly, it was fumbling and awkward, and painful if I'm to be completely truthful."

"What an idiot, oh my god," Tony mutters, his expression stormy. "I'm sorry about that, Jarvis. Really rotten luck, if you ask me."

Jarvis simply shrugs again. "Nothing most people don't go through on their first times, I'm sure. Any way, that wasn't really the worst of it. It was after, I suppose I just couldn't bring up the sort of enthusiasm for sex he was expecting. It brought an end to the relationship very quickly."

"Maybe, but that doesn't make it alright, the first time you're supposed to be treated well, and not end up with a selfish lover who doesn't even bother to do proper prep--" Tony shakes his head, pressing a kiss to Jarvis' cheek. "Sorry. I'm not supposed to go off a tangent here, but still, sounds like you just never had someone to disprove that sex is associated with pain more than pleasure. Leaning out of the window here, but, you know."

"We were both teenagers, makes sense that we were terrible at it all," and sometimes he did wish he'd waited. But the past couldn't be changed. "I-- some of them were pleasant, it's not like I've always had completely unskilled lovers, it's simply that... I wasn't... I could never bring myself to be as enthusiastic as they were expecting. And-- I do not know, but there is a reason they all called me frigid."

"Hm. Were you ever on the receiving end of a blowjob?" Tony's expression is one of false innocence as he asks, inching that little bit closer to Jarvis as if wanting to drape himself over the billionaire.

As mortifying as this is, Jarvis knows that his face has started to turn red. "Ah, no. Twice, almost, but interrupted the first time and... the second it felt-- awkward." Although in the case of the first that reprieve had been welcome. The man had been a clear mistake and he'd been glad when they parted ways.

"Alright." Tony's lips quirk up into a smirk at Jarvis' blush. It's always good to see he's still very much able to take Jarvis by surprise. "And how would you like me to give you one?"

“I-- I--”

"Honey," Tony chuckles a bit, framing Jarvis' face with his hands, kissing the billionaire sweetly. "Relax. That's basically an order. And let's find out what the proper answer to that question is, hm?"

And with that, Tony smoothly slides off the couch, settling between Jarvis' legs, putting his head on the other's knee to give the blond his best puppydog-look. "Permission to fondle you?"

When there's no response forthcoming and Jarvis just looks at Tony with wide eyes, the dark-haired man can't help but huff a laugh, grasping Jarvis' hand as he sits back on his haunches.

"Jarvis, Jarvis, honeybear, you look terrified. I'm not that scary, am I now? Or do you think I'd bite you?" Tony chuckles, shaking his head, and rises again, leaning over the billionaire to kiss him in what he hopes is a somewhat reassuring manner, murmuring against the other's lips. "I promise I'll only bite when you ask for it. And I'm more interested in love bites where they'd be more, you know, visible, since you're not the type to wave their junk around in public."

Tony draws back, sitting down at Jarvis' side again, never once having let go of the other's hand. "You know, if you don't want me to introduce you to a sex life, we can not do this."

That finally brings Jarvis’ words back. "I never said I didn't want one with you. Only that I've never had much of one," he breathes out and chuckles. "Look at me, I've had sex but might as well be a virgin for all I'm experienced."

"Yeah, I thought I scared you off there for a moment." Tony breathes out, feeling a little lighter at Jarvis' chuckling. "Am I going too fast? I thought suggesting a blowjob would be moving slowly but hey, my standards might be a little skewed there."

"Considering how well I know your personality I perhaps should have expected you to be so forward. However, considering how long we've been dancing around each other, I have to say that no, you're not moving too fast."

Raising an eyebrow, Tony fixates Jarvis with a long, hard look. "You're not comfortable though. Or you weren't. Is talking about it gonna change anything there? Because if I'm gonna do this, I'll need you to go 'heck yeah' when I'm kneeling, not 'uh oh'. But really," and he smirks, "who ever heard of someone being forced into getting a blowjob?"

"You'd be surprised," Jarvis says, lips twisting up sardonically. He finds it hard to think of an answer so he leans forward and takes Tony's lips in a kiss, licking against his lips.

"Yeah?" Tony responds to the kiss easily, opening his eyes to look at Jarvis when the other pulls back again, waiting for Jarvis to get his words out.

"It's more I was very shocked to be offered that so candidly. It's-- well, this is going to sound incredibly inelegant, but I think I'm ready to try this with someone who... who actually cares about me."

"Inelegant," Tony parrots, and sighs, "you're just too cute, Jarvis. It's almost too much." And he moves in for another kiss, drawing this one out before pulling back again. "That was a green light, right? You won't be shocked if I go for your zipper?"

The billionaire huffs out a breath of laughter. "That was a green light," he agrees, smiling easily. "I still say that you will have to suffer with the fact that I am incredibly terrible at this. But I am at your mercy as they say."

"Good. I'm gonna get on my knees, and you're gonna relax, and talk to me - let me know when you like or don't like anything I do, alright? Or if you want me to stop, or slow down-- but I promise you won't want me to do any of that once you let me get started."

A cheeky wink and another kiss to the cheek, then Tony moves off the couch again to make good on his promise.

* * *

Jarvis is aware of what he must look like. Utterly debauched, if he were to put a more 'flowery' label on it. His breathing is only just starting to return to normal and he's very nearly naked in his own workshop, spread back on the couch and practically purring at the weight of his lover over him.

"After that I can see the appeal of doing this on a more regular basis," he manages after he catches his breath.

"You're welcome," Tony murmurs, radiating smugness even as he nuzzles close to the other, making himself comfortable on the couch against Jarvis. "This proves that a couple weeks of no action did not make me lose my game, which I didn't worry about at all. By the way, you're invited for dinner."

The blond had been starting to doze off but suddenly he feels wide awake. With an effort he keeps his voice languid. "It would have been better to lead with that before you got down on your knees there."

"That was on purpose," comes the mumbled reply, and Tony lifts his head to give Jarvis a sheepish smile. "Get you relaxed before opening up with a, hm, potentially unwelcome invitation, though I guess with how you're looking at me that didn't work."

"Just for that I'm going to take you over the suburbs of London at some point and subject you to my own parents. And since it will be on their territory it should be extra awkward." He shifts under the other man, making himself more comfortable. "It's not unwelcome, but a more dignified setting would have been preferable."

"A dignified setting? Really? For 'my Mom is forcing me to invite you to dinner'? I'm not even sure that is possible."

"Somewhere like my kitchen over a cup of tea or coffee, for instance. Something other than laying naked on my old work sofa covered in come. I am just saying," Jarvis laughs again.

Tony chuckles in response, Jarvis’ amusement too contagious, shaking his head lightly. "I feel like a teenager being forced to do this. And your parents will love me, won't they?"

"Well, if you act like you enjoy the right footy team, soccer for you Americans, you'll get some points in my father's book. Cook something for my mum and try to act less-- Italian, and she'll not interrogate you too intensely."

"Act less Italian?" Tony scrunches his nose up, looking supremely unimpressed with that suggestion. "Excuse you. Actually, excuse you right now, before I throw my Italian tantrum."

The threat is clear.

Jarvis cracks open one eye. "I never told you about our incredibly rude Italian neighbors, did I?" He shifts again, moving to sit up.

"Alright, let me put this in a less... stereotypically British racist style. My mother's preferred paper is the Daily Sun, and she was quite the fan of Thatcher. Though what I actually meant was the flirting, and even the more innocent touching," he lifts a finger, forestalling any more comments. "Never minding that I was actually joking. She won't care about your heritage one way or the other. My father even less so."

For a moment, Tony is quiet, narrowing his eyes at Jarvis before relaxing again. "Fine. Just one question, does this mean I'm not allowed to flirt with or touch you while in the presence of your parents? Does this extend to not being allowed to compliment your mamma? Usually if I'm trying to be nice it ends up looking a lot like flirting, you know."

"You can try, but if my mum starts banging the tea kettle about you'll know that it's time for a strategic retreat. I might even be able to bribe my da with a pint at the pub to convince him to help us escape."

"Huh. Are you a momma's boy, then? That she'd be so protective of your innocence and all. I mean, it's not actually possible she wouldn't like a compliment, right?"

Tony considers that, quirking an eyebrow. "Banging tea kettles, really, that's just so... extremely British. In an Italian family, there'd be yelling."

"You've discovered my secret, I am British. Did my accent slip and give me away? Yelling is for footy at the pub," Jarvis snorts.

"I've noticed," Tony drawls in return, "you keep making terrible jokes, and you're pale enough to pass for a vampire. Though in your defense, your teeth are pretty nice, and I haven't seen you walking around with top hat and cane yet."

“Believe it or not, I love the sun. It just... doesn’t like me. I look terrible with that lobster bright skin. I’ll work on the top hat and cane, maybe at the next society dinner.” A brief pause. “As for my parents, you'll be the first boyfriend I've introduced them to in years. And she's my mum, just because we've always been distant doesn't mean she's never cared."

Briefly Tony shakes his head, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Jarvis' lips, his voice subdued. "I never meant to imply she doesn't care, but it just seems so-- I mean, really, I'm a good thing that happened to you. Having a boyfriend and introducing them to the family is something to celebrate... or well, at least I think so."

That has Jarvis sobering. “Honestly? I-- can’t predict how she’ll act. She could surprise me. My mother... well, I told you we’ve always been a bit distant. It’s-- She’s--” He gives up with a sigh. “I don’t know.”

"Hm. Well, in any case, I'm sure you're underestimating the effects my charm and Italian-like behavior has on any female, and she'll love me." Tony smiles widely, trying to dispel the sudden tension in Jarvis.

"I wanna meet them someday. But you'll have to go first."

"If I'm to meet your mother, then yes, you'll meet them. I may not be able to predict how they would react to you, but I can tell you that they will insist on meeting you. Never mind that these days it'd be easier for them to come over here to meet you than the other way around," but that battle with his parents was not something to share here. "Considering our current state, could we stop speaking about our parents until after we're dressed again?"

"Hm, I don't know, I think I'd like you practically nude and covered in come perpetually, you should get used to it." Tony laughs, then stretches, getting up and offering Jarvis a hand to help the other do the same. "Shower together?"

Jarvis accepts the hand up, stretching, letting out a groan at the kinks that formed from laying on that couch too long. "That may be one of your better ideas so far."

"All of my ideas are better ideas," Tony claims, rolling his eyes, smiling despite himself. "I suppose even your workshop-shower is big enough for five people?"

"Only a modest three," Jarvis responds easily. Though the truth is that it's only a bit larger than a standard shower only because he decided that washing off potential contaminants required a bit more space. Maybe that is an unnecessary precaution, seeing as the workshop is more computer engineering based rather than anything mechanical, but Jarvis had always been of a cautious nature.

"You just had to say three, didn't you? I'll spare you any talk of threesomes for the moment. And maybe you'll get that cup of tea you'd have liked before after, that is, if your afternoon is actually free - I just remembered I can't just decide this on my own."

"That implies that you already have ideas for a third party. I think I'm supposed to react with jealousy here."

"Well yeah, but I think Pepper would slap me." Tony laughs, pulling his boyfriend into the bathroom, and making himself useful by undressing the other fully. "You mean to say you're not the jealous type at all? No matter what I do, or with whom I talk, and despite my incorrigible tendency to flirt with everything that doesn't run away fast enough?"

"You flirt like you breathe. Now if you did more than your usual flirting and touching I might--" Jarvis breaks off. What would he do? Well, if there was anything he knew about relationships, it was that it hurt when they decided you simply weren't enough.

He forces himself to finish, voice light and teasing. "I'd throw a tantrum suitable to my wealth, I'm certain."

"Hm, I'll admit I'm curious what it would look like, you jealous." Tony kicks off his pants and pulls off his shirt quickly, a stark contrast to how he took his time undressing Jarvis. "Would you get forceful? Would you growl at me? Or would you just stand in the corner and glare at whoever got too close to me? I can tell you, when I'm jealous--"

And Tony smiles, discarding his socks, finally equally naked as Jarvis is, stepping into the spacious shower and under the stream Jarvis had already turned on, dousing himself. "--I get insufferable. Of course, when it's in public, you'll be able to tell that I'm not smiling like I mean it, and I might manhandle you away from other's eyes and hands, but then I do that anyways, don't I? Wanna soap me up?"

"Honestly? The last time a partner cheated on me I just hacked all his files and wrecked everything. Although that I was when my company was still a startup. I could get away with a lot more back then," Jarvis sighs. "Oh those were the days. Now I only hack something to test the product."

"Somehow, I really can't find it in me to pity you right now," Tony smirks, pushing a few strands of wet hair off his forehead. "I'm right here, naked and waiting for some shower gel to get on me. This can happen with or without your assistance, but either way, stop whining, seriously. Do I need to point out the naked part some more?"

Jarvis takes the expedient route and leans forward to silence any more protests with a kiss. "Who says I was whining? Sounds to my ears like you do enough for the both of us," but he's already grabbed the bottle of shower gel, smirking as he ignores the wash cloth and lathers the soap between his hands.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Tony replies, the protest much softer after the kiss, a small smile quirking his lips upwards. "I'm being neglected here, I think I'm allowed to do a little whining, as opposed to you - or do you want me to find a forum of people complaining about their partners and find out how they'll react to 'I was naked and willing and my boyfriend kept talking about his computers'?"

Jarvis grins and leans forward until his lips are brushing against the other man's ear, soapy hands smoothing over his shoulders and down his arms. "Admit it, you like hearing me talk about computers," and though the other cannot see it, his lips tilt even further up into a mischievous smirk. "I bet I could recite full algorithms and you'd love it." His hands had not stopped, massaging along Tony's biceps. When he stops he takes a step back, letting the water sluice down his back as he continues his ministrations all the way down to the tips of the man's fingers.

"Hm, you seem really sure of yourself there. You think algorithms would get me hot and bothered?" Tony closes his eyes, enjoying the administrations, lips quirking up.

"How would you like if I did the same?"

"Are you saying you wouldn't enjoy it?" Jarvis leans close and takes Tony's lips in another kiss as he pulls him into the spray of water to wash away the soap. "Are we talking about soap or maths?"

"I'm saying I'm not entirely convinced. and you should maybe start talking algorithms." Tony pulls the other closer, stealing the soap.

"Gonna test the soap idea, but what I was talking about were maths. Kinetic energy is equal to mass moving at speed of light."

That pulls a chuckle from him and Jarvis leans closer as Tony starts to lather up soap in return. He brings his mouth next to Tony's ear again, kissing the water from one shoulder before starting to speak. The stream of numbers started in a teasing manner, but as Tony continued his ministrations the string of equations would be broken by the hitch of breath or a sigh as Tony's hands wandered over his skin.

The moment is strangely intimate but sweet, Tony pushing all sexual thoughts away from the forefront off his mind as he pushes the other under the water stream to wash off the soap, not resisting pressing a kiss on Jarvis' lips to interrupt the stream of numbers.

"Fine, okay, algorithms are pretty sexy."

"I'm tempted to claim it's because of my accent, but I'd prefer to think it's because you actually understood what I was saying." After everything that had happened between them it seemed silly that he took such delight in the other's intelligence. Perhaps it was the novelty of discovering someone who could keep up with him for once.

_But he is so much better than I could ever hope to be,_ the thought whispers at the back of his mind, unvoiced.

"Hm, yeah, I think it's a mix of brain and accent. Does that fulfill your preference, honeybear?" Tony chuckles, giving Jarvis another kiss. "Where are the towels? You should hand me one before I can't help myself anymore and make out with you against the shower wall, I deserve sainthood for behaving so far, there's a sexy, wet, naked Englishman within arm length of me."

Jarvis shakes his head and opens the cabinet hiding the towels, unfolding one so that he can toss it playfully over the other man's head as he fights a blush at the endearment. "Anthony Carbonell, patron saint self-control. I'm not certain that works quite as well as you might hope."

"Well maybe I could be the patron saint of lovers or something, I'm probably not gonna be able to keep up the self-control thing." Tony laughs, catching Jarvis' blush before the towel lands square in his face, and starts by rubbing his hair, toweling himself to (relative) dryness quickly.

"And you'd have to be the patron saint of computer nerds."

"Hmm, how sinful is it to allow two saints to engage in such depraved acts, I wonder," Jarvis pauses and shakes his head. Leave it to Tony to come up with such a ridiculous title. "Heavens help me I don't want to know who would call upon that particular saint."

"Love isn't sinful, and sex can be part of it," Tony objects, though his tone is light as he smirks at Jarvis, wrapping the towel around his waist. "Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't get my blessing as patron saint."

"The saint has spoken, let us take note," Jarvis smirks as he wraps his own towel about him, having spent even less effort dying himself off. The cooler air of his work area causes goosebumps and he shivers. He knows there's a very necessary reason that the computers must be kept  cool, but it didn't mean he had to like it when it worked against him. "I'm going to migrate to the warmer, and more comfortable, areas of my home. You're free to join me."

"Sounds good, and I'm gonna put on my underwear. It's probably gonna be hard enough for you having me walk around with nothing but those."

Tony nods to himself, lips quirking up, putting the towel down and said underwear on, straightening to smirk at Jarvis. "It's hard having a boyfriend this good-looking, isn't it?"

The billionaire snorts. "It's just as bad when you're fully clothed."

"Really? Maybe _you_ should be the patron saint of self-control, then," Tony says, closing in on Jarvis, pressing his lips briefly to the other's cheek, then his lips. "Now I'd like to think you're having all those goosebumps because of me but it's more likely we should get it on with that migrating thing before you catch the sniffles."

"Yes, that is what I was attempting. I don't even have my robes down here," though only because he'd forgotten to bring one down when they were cleaned.

His steps back to his room are hastened by the cold. He doesn't bother with dressing, simply pulls one of the aforementioned bathrobe and offers another to his lover.

"Oh, these are fluffy," Tony pulls the robe on, rubbing his arms for warmth and giving Jarvis a smile. "Now that I'm in a fluffy bathrobe, I'm kinda craving hot chocolate. There anything you've got to do today, or can we just laze around all afternoon?"

"Nothing pressing. You could say this is my weekend." Jarvis smiles at the mention of hot chocolate. "Now I want hot cocoa, and I've no idea if I have any."

"Of course you'd have your weekend in the middle of the week. And do you think Pepper would understand that having no cocoa is an emergency and she should bring us some in case you don't have any? We should watch a movie."

"You've seen what the weekend consists of for me," the thought of calling up Pepper to play fetch for him almost has Jarvis giggling. "Pepper is either locked in a meeting or spending much needed time with her husband. She'd flay us both we made her play delivery maid. But the cocoa is easily remedied with a call. For the right tip anywhere delivers."

"Now be honest, Jarvis, is hot chocolate something you tend to have in your cupboards?"

"In all honesty, I've no idea. Tea I can guarantee, and the packets for the coffee maker I can be reasonably certain. But hot chocolate..." he shrugs. "I can always see if Fel left a box laying around. And if not, it's an easy thing to have Sol call for a delivery."

"Would it be at the same place the coffee's at?" Tony opens said cupboard, coming up negative, and turning to smirk at Jarvis. "Or is it pointless to ask, since you don't have a clue about your own kitchen?"

"Pointless," he answers cheerfully. "So long as they leave my tea alone I let my friends stock my cupboards."

"You'd make a terrible household man and you're not even ashamed," Tony continues teasing, starting to rummage through the kitchen.

"Not true, I could fix the plumbing. That has to count for something."

"Unless you're gonna do the plumbing half-naked that doesn't really do anything for me. And nope, no fancy cocoa anywhere."

SOLACE chooses that moment to speak up. _"I made an order for two large hot chocolates at a café that delivers. They will be here in 15 minutes, accounting for a human factor of error."_

"Not everyone can be as punctual as you, Sol. Thank you."

"Hm, that's 15 minutes we could talk about how to let a phone last longer," Tony suggests innocently, smiling at Jarvis.

So that was how they were going to play it. "Back to business then? And here I thought weekends were meant for being lazy." He can't help but tease.

"You can't put it on me if you adore me listening to your technobabble and actively contributing to it."

Tony grabs Jarvis' wrist, pulling him onto the couch. "Let's be honest, this is how you like relaxing."

"True, true," he lets himself be pulled along and instantly curls up against the other man. "It's something I love, after all. Alright, I've been trying to develop a battery that could sustain a smart phone for weeks without having to be charged," and he begins to talk.

When Sol speaks up again to announce that the cocoa has arrived, Tony is in the middle of discussing the possibilities of a self-recharging battery, gesticulating extensively as he does, and simultaneously getting out of his seat. "I'll get the chocolate, let SOLACE run the calculations again, I'm sure there's a way to keep that thing from overheating--"

It was so... refreshing to have a conversation like this. Words tossed back and fourth easily on a language few would understand. He almost wants to pout at the arrival of the hot cocoa. Instead he hides the needles disappointment turning his attention to instructing Sol of what he needs for the calculations.

"The delivery boy wasn't very happy to have been demoted to delivery boy until I gave him a generous tip of your money," Tony informs his boyfriend walking back into the living room, handing the other an overly large styrofoam cup that smells deliciously of chocolate.

"I think that would have been what you would've done, right? If not, I guess I'm indebted to you now. And also, can you make Sol stop calling me Mister?"

_"He can't,"_ comes the reply from the speakers, and Tony pouts even as he sits onto the couch with his own cup, taking advantage of the bathrobe to play a little footsies with Jarvis.

"You bully, Sol. Do you hear this, Jarvis? She's totally enjoying this."

"If you wanted a complacent AI you should download Siri," is Jarvis's only response to the jibe. He takes the warm drink gratefully, only realizing after he's taken a sip that it was exactly what he'd needed. "Sometimes you have excellent ideas," a pause. "Sometimes."

"Siri refuses to profess her love to me, you know. But at least she gets my name right."

Tony rolls his eyes, his lips quirking upwards. "I have good ideas very often. Genius just gets mistaken for insanity in the early stages, you know."

"Hmm, I can't say I've been outright accused of insanity. Usually aloofness, or being entirely too obsessed with propriety. Or of being boring. That happens much more often."

"Aw, come on, you have beautiful crazy ideas! You're just quiet about them. Is my personal theory. When you never made your microwave explode that's just because you stop before any of those random thoughts become reality. I mean really, you've got all you need to be a crazy scientist - insane sleep schedule, labs, more tech than you can possibly destroy..."

He can't help it, he laughs. "So what you're saying that I just don't go through with my wild plots. And here I thought I'd managed to fool everyone into thinking I was sensible. Though you can't deny that they must prefer thinking that over the notion that I simply have amazing self-control."

Taking another sip of the hot chocolate he leans back against the cushions again. "Though I must admit that the notion of a self-charging battery is appealing, it is not yet practical for a personal cell phone. We do not yet have a way to make one that is cost effective." And yet he was still running the numbers for the possibility.

"How about we just build it and worry about cost effectiveness and marketability never? Well," and Tony takes another sip of his own chocolate, leaning against Jarvis' side, "probably not right now, though the idea is tempting, but we're having hot chocolate to drink and some lazing around to do before we go."

"Alright, a personal experiment. But yes, let's drink our hot chocolate first. Then we can wrestle with physics."

“No, Jarvis, what I meant is that we’re not gonna do this today.” Tony finishes his hot chocolate with a content sigh, putting the cup down and smirking at the billionaire. “In other words, you’re not gonna get anymore lab time today. And have you slept? Because now you’re either going to stay right where you are and make out with me while there’s a movie on, or we make out in your bed with a small chance of a little napping happening.”

"No work?" His voice was high with mock confusion. "How am I to manage that?"

He gives Tony an indignant look. "I have slept, yes. I'll have you know that a friend of mine threatened me with bodily harm if I were to work the days straight again in my 'weekend'. So you are quite clear to subject me to whatever you call quality television."

"It's going to be hard, but it's okay, I'm here to pet you when you start feeling having work-related withdrawal symptoms," Tony drawls, smiling. "Sol, how about you play something old and vaguely Italian? I don't intend to let either of us pay much attention."

And with that promise made, Tony turns to face Jarvis fully. "Lemme see if you taste of chocolate," he says, and then pulls his boyfriend in for a kiss.

"Mmm, you certainly do," Jarvis replies when they pull apart, the taste of chocolate from Tony's mouth lingering on his tongue. He can't help but glance at the TV, a giggle escaping when he sees which movie the AI has seen fit to play for them.

"Casablanca, Sol? If I remember correctly that's Morocco not Italy." He is grinning as if at a private joke before turning back to the tempting man sitting beside him.

* * *

"You should definitely wear the dark blue Armani, it's my favorite on you, definitely the best color--" Tony pulls said suit out of the wardrobe and places it on the bed, studying it for a moment before turning to frown at his boyfriend.

"Or-- maybe you shouldn't wear something so sexy for meeting my mamma? Maybe a vest? Absolutely no pinstripes, don't get any ideas--"

Jarvis just watches his lover frantically paw through his wardrobe in amused bemusement. "I will defer to you on all matters for this dinner," he says finally. Even so he is picking up the first suit Tony had pulled out. It was one he used when he had to dress to impress and charm. Perhaps that was just the type of outfit he needed for meeting someone's parents.

"Though there is always one of the Canali's if you want variety." It's so amusing to watch how nervous Tony was becoming that he could almost forget that they were getting dressed up in their most expensive suits to meet the man's mother, almost.

"You do look good in Canali's," Tony says, distracted while sifting through the closet - only to pause and turn on Jarvis with a pout. "You're enjoying this!" he accuses his boyfriend, crossing his arms over his chest, but unable to keep it up, laughing and drawing a hand through his hair the next minute.

"Oh, wow, I'm such a mess. It should be _you_ panicking, not me."

"I won't say your panic isn't a factor in my own current calm. Maybe if you start acting imperious and confident I'll start in on my own bout of panic."

"Only you could make total composure a thoughtful gesture," Tony replies, still smiling, and walks over to the other to steal a sweet kiss.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, I just-- I want her to love you and that is absolutely out of my control and so naturally I'm worrying about the things I can influence."

"I will avail myself to be as charming as possible. Although I will try to not act terribly British. Seems an uncouth gesture on my part to subject her to that. Although knowing what rumors of me you've subjected her to might aid me in acting accordingly."

"Oh, god," this time, when Tony laughs, the nervousness is back in it, and he pats down Jarvis' shirt randomly, just looking for an excuse not to look at the other, "I, okay, I should probably-- I'm a little-- okay, so it's kind of pathetic of me, but," a deep breath and Tony glances up at Jarvis, his next words rushing out of his mouth: "I kind of didn't tell her anything about you at all."

He's fiddling with Jarvis' shirt some more, then. "She-- literally just cornered me this morning telling me that of course she can tell I'm in love and I need to bring them over, and, and so the only thing she knows about you is that you're my boyfriend?"

Tony works his lower lip, taking another deep breath. "I didn't want her to-- I mean she kind of met you already and I'm kind of worried about the impression she has on you because of back then and--"

"Ah," well that explains a good deal. "In that case I am worried. I'm certain her only impression of me then is being an arse and causing you to shout at me." And as if to back up his statement his fingers start drumming nervously against his thigh.

"The Armani might be the better choice. I might need every bit of charm to convince her I mean you no harm."

Tony breathes a little easier at that, but still gives Jarvis a bit of a worried look. "You're not... in some way upset with me for not having told her about you? Because that's a little-- right? I'd understand if it bothered you--"

"Hardly. I've barely even mentioned that I'm seeing someone to own parents. Although in my defense there's an ocean between my parents and I." It was silly. They'd known each other for months, been practically dating. And yet everything between them felt so new. "Besides, I cannot even imagine how to describe our relationship to someone let alone a parent."

"Oh. Okay. I still feel like this is somehow-- a personal failing of mine, but maybe that's because mamma guilt-tripped me this morning." Tony steps back, sitting on the bed and watching Jarvis put the suit on with unadulterated interest.

He does love that color on his boyfriend.

"It's not that hard, really, you just call up and say you're dating this very handsome, incredibly smart and amazingly charming young man--" Tony trails off, grinning up at Jarvis.

"And then explain to my gossipy mother that we met because I was desperate to have a shield against all the societal head hunters. She'll coo over how romantic the whole thing is and I'll try to never let slip how handsomely I tipped said social buffer." He smirks at the memories. "Now that I say it aloud it reads like one of those novels she likes to read. The ones with some earl and a peasant."

Tony pulls a face. "Oh no, I'm the peasant of this love story!" It is all suitably dramatic, how he says it, and for effects Tony lets himself flop backwards onto the bed, one hand at his forehead.

"You'll wrinkle your suit," Jarvis retorts absently. He shrugs on the suit jacket and then moves to his jewelry case to find a suitable set of cufflinks and tie pin. "Hmm, I'm thinking the silver and sapphire set. Try to be suitably impressive. And since I'm apparently the lordly side of this romance I should avail myself to look presentable when I tell your mother I'm 'courting' her son."

"My Lord, you're under-appreciating the performance," Tony drawls from the bed, but self-conscious all the same, straightens into a sitting position and patting down his own suit.

"Hm. Sounds like you're intending to bribe her with jewellery."

"Well, if she really wants my cuff links and tie pin so much I suppose they'd make a decent bride price for your hand. Although i would be quite sad to part with them. They are my favourite set."

"Excuse me," Tony protests, though his tone of voice remains amused, "that is my bride price you're talking about. The alternative to your cufflinks would probably be around 20 camels."

"I doubt they would all fit into your mother's apartment. Nor have I ever heard of the Italians being able to coexist amiably with camels. Horses maybe, but never camels. Jewels and shiny metals seem a better compensation." He smirks and walks over to press a chaste kiss against the man's lips. "Though for you I might very well need to empty my entire collection to make a worthy trade."

"Semantics," Tony retorts, but he smiles like an idiot when Jarvis draws away from the kiss and says ridiculously sappy things anyways.

"I love you," he says, and reaches out to squeeze Jarvis' hand, feeling anxiety in his stomach for no rational reason - but knowing that this is the first time he's put these three words in that order for Jarvis makes him feel vulnerable all the same.

He almost freezes to hear Tony say those three words, his breath catching in his throat. He doesn't bother to hold back and leans down to capture another kiss. Only the knowledge that they still had a dinner to attend making him hold back even a little.

Suddenly he's terrified, wanting so badly to say it back that his fingers tremble upon Tony's cheek. "I love you, too," he whispers.

"I would jump you right now but I fear that would wrinkle your suit," Tony whispers back, and grins, tugging Jarvis forward by his hand just a little.

"Time to go, right?"

"At least I would have a change of clothes. We should try not to ruffle you too much." He coughs, clearing his throat nervously. "I think that would be the better plan. Being fashionably late to dinner only results in a cold supper and knowing looks that will only make me panic in front of your mum."

Tony contains himself until they reach the elevator before kissing his boyfriend again, hugging him afterwards. "We'll arrive right on time and there won't be any knowing looks, unless I start groping you under the dinner table."

"Please don't," he says. "I'm not certain even I could keep a straight face if you do something like that with your mum sitting on the other side of the table." But he's smiling and even holds the door of the car open playfully.

"You did notice that I was joking, yes?" Tony side-eyes Jarvis a bit when the car door is being held open for him, too used to be on the other side of that interaction, but gets in the car without protest.

For a moment, as he sinks into the luxurious plush of the backseat, he feels himself go nervous all over again about having himself be driven right up to his front door, a neighborhood that doesn’t suit this car or Jarvis’ lifestyle - but then Jarvis speaks up again, effectively distracting Tony.

"I hoped it was a joke, but with you--" he breaks off with a meaningful glance at his often incorrigible lover.

"That's a fair point," Tony admits, grinning a bit and putting his hand over Jarvis' own even as he looks out of the window, watching the streets pass them by. Not long now.

Jarvis found as they drove closer to their destination that the nervousness came back. And now that the confrontation was so close, the fear was unavoidable.

"What will we do if she doesn't approve of me?"

"Go home and cry at each other?" Tony smiles a little, searching Jarvis' gaze. "There's not much we can do. I'd try to change her opinion, but she's-- stubborn, my mamma, and it would take time. It would not change anything between us, though."

For some reason the reassurance helps and Jarvis relaxes even as they pull up to their destination. He thanks Sam and smoothly steps out, holding the door for the other man again. As they walk up to the entrance of the building Jarvis allows himself a small luxury and tangles their fingers together, taking comfort from the connection.

"Into the breach," he mutters.

"Oh, Shakespeare, fancy," Tony mumbles back, and doesn't let go of Jarvis hand even as they step in front of the apartment door and he raises his hand to knock, giving his boyfriend another encouraging smile before the door gets opened.

Maria immediately zeroes in on Jarvis - and narrows her eyes. " _You,_ " she says, and Tony forgets to breathe, "I should hit you for making my boy cry."

"Mamma!" Tony squeaks, getting a raised eyebrow from his mother, who softens her expression when she looks back at Jarvis again.

"But I suppose it is also you who makes him smile so much these days." Tony makes another small noise, this time more embarrassed than anything. "Come on in, you two. Anthony, si prega di dare un'occhiata al forno?"

This brings Tony back from his frozen shock, and he squeezes Jarvis' hand before nodding, and stepping past Maria into the apartment, Maria who gestures for Jarvis to get in himself.

Jarvis forces himself to tamp down the sudden urge to bow to the woman. "I'm afraid there was not time for proper introductions, ma'am. I am Jarvis Thompson, a pleasure to meet you more formally."

He hesitates and then: "I am aware that we did not meet under ideal circumstances. At the risk of sounding like I am making excuses, there was... miscommunication and misunderstandings on both our parts."

Maria nods, mustering Jarvis attentively. “I do not doubt that. And I do believe you’re good to him, from how he acts these days. But I do not want my boy to be hurting, so I need to know that you’re serious about your relationship and won’t suddenly decide that there’s too much… miscommunication and misunderstandings.”

The woman reaches out to put her hand on the other’s arm, her gaze fixed on Jarvis’ face with maybe a little more intensity than would be strictly comfortable for the billionaire. “Do I have to worry?” If the question comes out a little threatening, it is simply of a mother wanting to protect her only child.

It's tempting to reassure her straight away, say no without hesitation. But that would be cheap and rash. So he pauses, giving his answer much more thought. "Our miscommunication was born of lies and secrets. I won't tell you those secrets, they are not all mine to tell, but--" And now he hesitates.

"We-- I have learned from my assumptions. And I fully intend to stay with him as long as he will have me. I will not claim that this will be forever, no one can predict that, but... for now, I do not foresee the same issues that drove us apart happening again."

There is a moment of silence between them, and then Maria smiles. “Good. Thank you.” She links her arm with Jarvis’ own, pulling the other towards the kitchen. At their arrival, Tony looks up and between them with something akin to suspicion in his expression.

“Is-- everything alright?”

Maria laughs lightly, separating herself from Jarvis to step over to her son and kiss his cheek, murmuring something to Tony that makes him smile at Jarvis, and then Tony is at Jarvis’ side instead.

“You seem unharmed,” he jokes, and pulls his boyfriend forward. “Let’s sit down before the lasagna gets cold.”

He leans down to press a chaste kiss against Tony's cheek. "Just the usual," he murmurs and follows willingly when Tony pulls him towards the table.

He feels he shouldn't be surprised at how good the meal is. After all, they are in the heart of Little Italy, and while it's plausible Maria did not make the dish herself, it's no surprise that the dish would be authentic regardless. "I don't think even the lasagna in Italy was this good," he offers the comment to Maria halfway through dinner. Halfway through only because our had taken him that long to set down his fork.

That has Maria smiling, inclining her head to Jarvis. “Grazie,” she offers, and the expression on Tony’s face should warn everyone present that he’s about to say something unwise when he opens his mouth.

“Seeing as I wasn’t here to make it, I can only assume our neighbor got bribed to-- ahi! Mamma!”

Tony pouts sullenly at Maria, who gives him an innocent look, looking for all the world as if she didn’t just kick his shin under the table. “It is not a bribe if it’s a perfectly fair trade-off,” she says, turning back to Jarvis with a smile that has Tony laughing lightly, “in this case, a good bottle of wine for a self-made dinner. I shall pass the compliment along.”

He hides his smile behind another bite of good. It would perhaps be impolitic to say that he suspected as much. "Please do," he says after parent and child had ceased bickering.

"My mother tended to trade for pies," he says conversationally. "Had me convinced when I was little that she made them. Turns out she balanced our neighbor's checkbook for her."

“You see, everybody does it,” Maria says, sending her laughing son an amused smile.

The dinner feels much more relaxed after that, with both Tony and Maria apparently working on drawing Jarvis into the conversation often enough the billionaire hardly has any time to do any eating, the sound of casual conversation and laughter filling the kitchen.

When all the plates are empty and there’s a lull in the conversation, Maria rises from her chair and turns towards the coffee machine. “Do you want a coffee, Jarvis?”

Ah yes, the difficult question. "May I pass on that offer? At the risk of sounding terribly-- cliche, coffee and I have never agreed."

“Ah,” Maria pauses, throwing Tony a look. But Tony simply shrugs and grins.

“He’s one of those weird tea drinkers,” he explains, a teasing lilt in his voice, the remark obviously more meant for Jarvis than his mother.

Suppressing a smirk, Maria turns to Jarvis. “I’m afraid I don’t have any tea around. We’ll have some to offer to you next time.”

Despite Maria’s initial protest concerning how guests shouldn’t do chores, it’s Jarvis and her that put the dishes away, and Tony cleans the table.

“It was nice to meet you, Jarvis,” the dark-haired woman says, when they’re in front of the door for the goodbyes, and presses a kiss to the billionaire’s cheek before looking at Tony. “Dove stai andando?”

“Non lo so,” Tony replies, looking up at Jarvis questioningly.

Maria tilts her head, then steps over to her son to kiss him, too, on the cheek. “Vai, tesoro.” A last smile at the both of them, and then it’s only Jarvis and Tony standing there, and Tony gives a little smile.

“I already spent half a day at your place, if you, uh, have enough of me--”

"Il suggerimento di tua madre è pratico," Jarvis grins as if at a secret. "If you come back with me it spares me the trouble of having to ask." He brings a hand up and brushes the back of his hand down Tony's cheek.

“Oh, okay. You still want me around.” Tony smiles, and yells a “Ciao, mamma!” in the direction of the kitchen before pulling his boyfriend out into the hallway, and pulls him down for a real kiss right outside their door. Jarvis laughs as he is pulled along and goes easily into the kiss.

 

"This dinner went much better than I expected," Jarvis says once they separate. "I will be 'tentatively' hopeful that I have your mother's blessing."

“Yeah,” Tony replies, smiling, “I think your tentative hoping is justified. She said she likes you.”  
****

"Well that's good, because I quite like you. It would be a pity if I couldn't take you back with me," he grins. "Let's go home."

  
“I'm all yours,” Tony repeats, and his smile right then could light up a city.


End file.
